Why do guys feel the need to judge my way of life. Got a super long mssg telling me how bad I am, doing the devil's work, going to hell..giving me all these bible verses....then goes on to say who is he to judge me, that is god's job....then goes on to judge me. I like what I do, I'm hurting no one, unless they ask me to...people....so frustrating.
you are right, it is my belief that we should not judge others, we need to accept them as they are. it sucks when they judge and try to tell you otherwise.
I get it when I work the sunday church crowd...getting guys either on the way to church or on the way home...lol...but just getting a random mssg from a guy....just bugs me.
@stupid.girl the random messages, just take it as that, random and know that it does not matter, delete it and move on. the thing i have found in some people that judge others, they have more issues and are not dealing with their own issues. They find it easier to judge others.
Girl - you are doing what you have to do to survive. Often those folks that are so quick to judge and criticize, condemn, and lecture are the very ones that use you for services and sit in the front row of the Sunday worship. They prefer to judge other - and not look into the mirror to see their real selves. They are afraid to admit their shortcomings and hide in the shadows. They are hypocrites. They should not judge you, because they haven't walked a mile in your shoes and don't understand you do what you need to do to survive a hard life. There are those of us that would like to assist you so you can have a life where you can do the things you want to do - and not merely survive. Again, I extend my hand to you if you want to talk. Take care of yourself and be careful out there. One Day At A Time.
Your profession is older than the Bible. That hypocrite can take a flying leap. I do agree with Just60.. we worry about your safety.
No matter what someone does, there is always someone that doesn't agree with it and passes judgment. just ignore the haters, its not worth your time to give them any thought at all.
@Justtired1587 wow…thank you…I would like that a lot…
Change your name! You are so much more than that! We all make choices that others don't agree with. We all walk a different path and we don't always understand the pain and challenge that others go through...we have no right to judge. Just be sure that you are careful and treat yourself with respect and love. See your value and your worth. You will be in my thoughts.
@HopeandMoreHope thank you
@SummerDay I saw my hubby texting an escort. I called her. She didn't know he was married and canceled when she found out. Your husband reached out first and probably lied. Don't blame this girl for your husband's issues.
@SummerDay I’m not a moderator here…but this is a support group. Pls read the guidelines.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion (as you are) however what people say, when, to whom, and how they say it all come together…
It sounds like u are still angry and hurting from your divorce—adults are responsible for their choices, actions, behavior. Your hubby chose a prostitute for various reasons and the outcome would be the same (divorce) if ,instead, he had an affair while married or if he did the right thing and waited till he got a divorce and then had new relationships… the escort in your case wasn’t the cause of your divorce… imho
Not sure where my posts went. I guess saying that sex work hurts wives and children is not cool here. The fact is that saying that IS supportive to the recovery of both sex addicts and sex workers and those who have been hurt by all of it. I'm not going to pretend otherwise.
@SummerDay I think you are missing the point to the prior comments, The purpose of the Sex addiction group is to be Pro recovery. The purpose of the group is to allow a place for them to feel welcomed and supported on their journey toward recovery. Recovery that is different for each person, the time needed is different and the situations each of us are in is different. Each of us, as we go on the journey for recovery, will have to acknowledge our past. And we will have to come to terms with our lives but in our own time. It is not helpful, in my opinion to just into calling out how hurtful things are. in our recovery, we have to deal with those things. I think the members of the group need lots of understanding, showing compassion for each other, and support for each other. Many of us, our up bring, trauma, or living conditions has turned the world against us. The purpose of the group is to be a safe place. a place to try and get support, get advice, share our worries, our concerns, our issues. i would never ask you to not believe what you believe. But the overall goal of the group, be supportive, meet the person in the place they are, not to force them to acknowledge with or deal with things before they are ready.
Yes, I get that. I wrote to stupid.girl in the hopes of helping her see the hurt she is causing in the hope that it will give her a reason to stop what she is doing. I, as someone who has been hurt by the actions of people like her, reached out to her. It makes me really, really angry that people act like I am not allowed to express one drop of anger here. This is real life. This is what sex addiction does. Everyone should be able to be supported here, including me. I think she has a lot of support from a lot of you. Everyone has their place and their job and role to play in this. Good cop, bad cop. But the goal is the same.
@SummerDay if you had made the effort to read her past, you would know that she has no choice at this point in her life. She needs moral support not moral judgement.
Once upon a time, there was a girl. Her name was stupid.girl (SG for short). SG owned a dog. This dog meant everything to SG. He was almost her sole emotional support. Every night when SG got home, her dog ran up to her and licked her face and every bad thing that happened to her that day melted away. When her Grandma died, dog was there. SG and the dog were joined at the hip. SG loved her dog. One day, a woman by the name of SummerDay (SD for short) was really hungry. She was so hungry that she was willing to eat anything. She knew she could go to the food pantry but she didn't want to do that. She knew there were other options as well but what she really wanted was to eat a dog. (Sick, I know, but go along with the allegory). She decided that she didn't want to do anything else to earn money like flip burgers or clean houses. No, she just wanted to do something easy and so she decided to eat SG's dog. One night, she lay in wait and killed the dog and ate it. She felt good and full. One day she told the story about killing the dog on a forum. People were outraged! Who would kill somebody's dog for food?? So, Summer Day went to a forum of dog killers for support. They told her that anybody would have done the same thing in her situation. She was hungry! What was she supposed to do? Stupid girl joined the forum and said how angry she was at Summer Day and told her what she did was wrong and hurtful. She told her about how it stole from her. SD and the rest of the forum ganged up against SG and told her that Summer Day was hungry and she had no other choice. This put SG into a bad position. They tried to make SG feel sorry for Summer Day's hunger and squash her valid feelings about how Summer day stole her dog, killed it and ate it.
Now, in real life, the "dog" (ex-husband) is culpable and guilty, unlike the dog in the story. However, Summer Day is actually Stupid Girl selling herself to men and Stupid Girl is actually Summer Day who had money and a husband stolen from her. But the exchange between Summer Day and SG and this forum and in the story are no different. In real life, the real stupid girl is stealing people's "dogs" and "eating" them. (Prostituting herself with people's husband's and taking money that is marital property and possibly food out of children's mouths) and Summer Day is me, simply telling the truth that what she is doing is hurtful, thievery and there is certainly something else she can do to make money. She does have a choice and yes, I read her past and find that no excuse.
@Betrayedbyasexaddict I’m sorry but the point is not to argue or fight with people here Not call them names
What people can go if they are upset by a post is to a) email the moderator of the group. And b) flag the offending post in the top right corner and c) realize not everyone is in the same emotional place as everyone else. If you are offended, an option is to ignore postings of others that you don’t agree with
P.S. I do feel sorry for SG's situation but this is not the right path. When I was young, I drank a lot and smoked a lot of dope for years. I knew I had to change to change my life. It wasn't easy. But I am very glad I did it.
@SummerDay If you came to this forum seeking support, you would have gotten it. But think about it: You said in an earlier post that everyone should be able to be supported here. So where is YOUR support for stupid.girl? She admits she needs support, she wants to be honest. Yet, you come in here attacking her, using her as the target of your anger and hatred. You know nothing about her or her circumstances. Just as we know nothing of yours. You are not helping anyone! And whatever joy you receive by bashing someone who had NOTHING to do with your situation just shows how hurt and immature you are. I hope you can find some decency to temper your comments in this forum or find another forum to vent. If you want support, ask for it, don’t attack.