Why do I feel like a failure

I have been trying to avoid posting anything major to any groups for weeks. I keep thinking that I, and many others, have had much more difficult problems than the ones I am having now, but I just feel so alone in dealing with my daily issues.

There is a long back story to my life... let's just start with the last few months. I have never made much money as a musician and artist, but lately, I have tried my hand at some things that people say I will be AMAZING at, and felt that I have gotten NO support. Most recently, I have continued to perform (I am a singer) but have decided to leave my position teaching music, at the end of this season. I have my own art business, which was more fulfilling before I went public with it. I feel unnoticed, even though I share my art on various web sites. I never get any comments, let alone sales on them. I go to art shows, lug around a bunch of stuff, only to leave tired and disappointed. Most recently, I have joined up with Melaleuca. I posted about it here one day, because I was so excited. I was so impressed by the company's integrity, that I decided to try and do some marketing for them with friends and family. People around me always mention wanting better products for this family, so I thought they would love it like I do. All I feel now is that I am the only person who realizes how life changing their company can be. I am not doing well with enrolling others, even though I do my best to share my passion for it, without sounding like a Mary Kay representative. (I hate those parties and constant phone calls.)

I am a strong person who has always been resourceful, but right now, I am needing to feel as though something I feel in my soul is working out... something to show for my efforts. Professionally, I gave up a promising opera career to have a family, and then ended up working every hour in the world to get ahead. Now that I have some stability from my husband's job, and I can begin to stay at home with my kids, I should be happy. I really want to dig into that part of my life, but all I can think about is that I have nothing professional to show for my life- FOR my kids. I am revered and depended on everywhere I work/volunteer, but I want something more tangible. I want something to pass on to my children- some real money that I make myself would be lovely. Can't help but hit slumps where I feel that I made a ton of poor choices in my life. No retirement money, and scrounging every penny for the kids college. Don't want to feel like my husband has to make up for what I have not accomplished in life.

SO SORRY for rambling, but I needed to throw all of this up today. I know I left out some things, and maybe did not explain very well. As a result, I may come off like a whiner. Really, I just need a friend who won't try to give me advice, and will just hear my hurting. If you have read through all of this- THANK YOU!

Firstly never feel that a problem is not important enough, if you are struggling with something, share it.
Ok, since your new art business went public, what do you think is the disappointment, is it sales figures, is it not getting noticed as much, because you used to stand alone and someone would come to you? Remember this is only the start, and although i think it is wonderful you are posting on other's website, why don't you set up your own page?

You could use the best colours, write about your work, etc...it could be a whole new experience for you.

I checked out the melaluesa site. i think the issue could be that the message is very vague on the site...when many see healthy eating...bla bla bla they think "cost"...especially in these times, and if it is cost effective...why not hold a presentation night? It need only be a half an hour...many times when we try to explain to people they don't have their "listening" ears on..but here they would be for a reason.
Believe I know how difficult it can be to sell a great product it is all about getting people to sit up and take notice.

Word of mouth would fly around...and you have so many contacts made in the community already it could be so easily done.
Once you've got a few contacts made...believe me it will just go on and on.

Also hun I would recommend you take just a week break, to clear your head, you seem to be very stressed and nothing good can come from stress...just relax and take back some "me" and "my family" time.

i don't know if i helped you any...I hope I did

You are doing great, don't doubt that.

Love to you
Moongal x

Hey, Moongal!

Thank you for your words of encouragement. It is nice to feel as though someone is listening. I do feel kind of out inn left field. At times, I let myself feel like, “Hey, these people said they were interested, then I write to them and they ignore me.” It is probably not that at all. I am just feeling the weight of things.

I have gotten much better at taking me time, or family time. One of the benefits of the late 30s. :slight_smile: I know it is important.

Been trying to hook up a big old “Wellness Workshop” where I can really teach people about what we do. Problem is, I work most evenings (for nearly 22 years) and although I am going to stop doing that in May of 2011, I have a few months to go, and a short time span for succeeding. OK, so I am reading as I type, and I sound very stressed. YOU are so right. Going to take a deep breath, and start again in the morning! Putting my OCD away for tonight!

Thank you!

Really give yourself a break. I think you are putting so much pressure on yourself. And you don't have to put this deadline on the Workshop, just whatever suits you best and you could start putting one email invite out there, maybe put an add in local paper and invite influential people as well as friends and family.

The email would be a click of switch once it's typed, and some mailed letters wouldn't take long either and the add could run the week before...inviting the general public (if that is a route you wanted to take, unless you wanted to keep the group exclusive enough at first)...and then the next week you could have a lovely press release in the local paper in regard to it.

But you don't need to time limit yourself, and why should you, you don't need to cause this stress. You are strong capable person, but remember that you are only one person. So this should be an exciting adventure for yourself.

Love to you hun
Moongal x

Thank you so much for your support. :slight_smile: