Why do i fight

Im going to kill myself i think im probably going to fail and they'll bring me back to life and put me in a mental hospital but i want to try. If the doctors next week say im fine then i might consider not doing it. If i can quit group i might consider not doing it, If i could figure out a way to tell my friend what im feeling then i might not do it if i could just stop feeling this way i might not do it but theirs no hope i don't know what to do. My head is going to explode if i fight anymore

You shouldn't want to kill yourself. I used to want to but there is so much in life, but you have to find it. I went to a mental hospital and it helped me out, it gave me a lot of coping skills and made me see I'm not alone.
Doctors just see how we act, if you act suicidal, then they will think you are. Just think of the good things and what you can do life. There are so many opportunities.

im so sad to hear u want to end your life.

im sure there are many positives that u have to live for u just cant see them at the moment.

please keep going to group and keep posting here so we can b there for u.

it would matter to me if u were no longer around to chat

stay strong

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes

I'm so so sorry things are so hard for you right now.:( I just wanted to tell you that things will get better. I know it doesn't seem like it right now. I've been in pretty dark places before myself,and even been suicidal. I can tell you right now,I am so so grateful I never went through with it. Things can,and will get better. Don't give up hope. I know fighting is so exhausting,but you ARE worth it. You are loved,and all of us on here are here for you,and care about your well being. I know that depression is so horrible,and it's so hard to fight. I found for myself,even though I didn't always understand why,I might need to cry. That's okay. I would just lay in the middle of my floor and cry it all out,and honestly,I almpst always felt better after,just from releasing all that pain. I found the strength to pick myself back up again. You can do it too. You have a future ahead of you to look forward to,and even though you might not believe it now,there will be events,and most importantly,people in your life that you definitely don't want to miss out on. hang in there. we're all here for you, if you ever need to talk. I really really hope you start to feel better. *prayers and hugs*

Hi Tifarrah, Please pick up the phone and call someone. Call family, a friend, your doctor, suicide hotline, 911. Killing yourself is not the answer. You don't have to go through this alone. We are all here for you reaching out to you. Talk to us. We care about you. I am praying for you. ((((hugs))))

Hi Passionfruit,

I hope things are going a little better for you. Many of us reach a breaking point in our lives where we just think that we can't go on. Sometimes this happens more than once. But in between those times, there are periods of great love and happiness. Its the ebb and flow of things. When there is happiness it is intensely good. When there is pain, it can be intensely devastating. The key is not to give into the pain. The key is to always live another day so that you can have the chance to experience the happiness that love brings. This is easier said than done sometimes, but if you can hang in there (and I hope and pray that you will) you will experience the love and happiness that I'm talking about.

However, the only way that you can get there is by getting the tools that will make you strong enough to weather the tough times. To do this you have to remain in group and open yourself up to the possibility of help. You have to summon your will to try to learn how to love yourself. You are worth the love. When you feel like you can't fight anymore, then let others fight for you. I will fight for you! Keep calling on us here, remain in your group therapy, talk it out, and listen for the answers. I don't know what your spiritual practice is or if you have one, but find the strength to reach out to the universe, to friends, family, whoever you want. You'll find us there reaching out toward you.

Anytime you feel overwhelmed and want to throw in the towel, then call a suicide hotline. Give yourself a chance, without having even met you, I can guarantee you're worth it! I wish you well and send you vibes of loving support.

having been there myself actually I would understand.
How ever what I'm hearing from you is not what your words appear to be saying. What I'm hearing is you don't really want to do it. You want the gentle caring attention of the doctors and nurses. That would be soothing. You want some time out and a mental hospital would be a safe place where all your essential needs would be taken care of for you and you would be free to act out in any way at any time without worrying about legal, school, or parental repercussions.

There's always hope and you said so your self.

You basically said: I HOPE the doctors say I'm ok.
I HOPE I can quit group pretty soon. I really want to tell My friend how I feel I HOPE I find a way.

You can stop feeling bad any time you want to. You know what it would take. (It may feel really awkward at first) but you know things that would make you feel better. Or what makes you happy.
even awkward would be a different feeling than you had when you wrote this. Showing that you can sop feeling like that. And you can stop fighting. This may sound stupid at first but it works. theres no right or wrong way to to do this ya just do it. relax as best you can close your eyes and imagine NOTHING. Empty barren blank black nothing. Make an intentional effort not to think about anything. just stare of into black nothing. if any thoughts come into your mind turn them off and continue to stare into silent black nothing.

What your doing is turning of the constant chatter in your head.
Everyone everywhere when they are awake is constantly talking to themselves in there head. thinking thoughts telling them self I'M
smart or I'm stupid, shes cute, he's a #%&, I should do this or shouldn't do that. Hey thats cool I wonder if my friend would like that? ETC.ETC.ETC. non stop all day long. The simplest form of relaxation meditation is to just give yourself a break by turning all that crap off for a while. and if you don't have anything else to do and you fall asleep. Unless your a heavy dreamer then you have achieved an even deeper state of freedom from fear, guilt, worry etc.