I've read and talked to many people here who all say the same things and it got me thinking when do we trust our own judgements? Yes we have been abused and mistreated but is it enough to question everything we do?
We may have no choice in our abuse maybe it was someone we were related to and had to just shut up and take it or maybe it was someone we were in a relationship with that while we were in our courtship with they hid that side from us does it become our mistake then?
Some say they saw the signs before they gave in but over looked them could it be that what we saw they down played so that they didn't seem as bad as it really is or maybe made it seem that it was all in our head? Does that mean our judgement is flawed? I don't think so I think that is on them not us would we even be in our messes if it wasn't for their illogical thinking. Ours wouldn't even be in question if not for them screwing with our minds making us think were messed up in the first place.
I think our judgment is just fine we just need to believe in it again which is the hardest part since what is actually causing us to doubt it is not our own voices but the voice of our abusers and if we have gotten away from them we must let go of every part of their control of us including when we begin to question our judgments cutting that off at the start. Trust our guts when we see flags look closer at them don't turn a blind eye to them check them out ask what their for and if they are there in your eye walk away because you know that. They maybe hidden away but they will come out sometime in some way during your relationship and you do not want to be caught of guard.
What you have posted makes a lot of sense. When we admire someone, we do not want to see any negative side, and also we think that everything will change later. We have good intentions, it is not our fault that there are bad people in this world, but what is done is done. The future is bright and we have to enjoy every day of our lives. Thank you and God bless you.
I believe that those of us here might have questionable judgment. I know that I saw red flags with both of my husbands. I chose to ignore the red flags. Why I made that judgment call is all on me. I have to figure out what part of me thinks I should go with a guy that is waving red flags all over the place. I know why I stay or stayed. I just don't know why I ever went in the first place. My gut says it all goes back to low self-esteem and thinking that I really should just be happy that this person wants to be with me, versus feeling comfortable walking away at the first sight of a red flag, and knowing that I can and will attract a healthy man at some point down the road.