Why is all I can really say

I have lost alot since September.....Got pregnant...had a miscarraige and in then 12 days later...I was in a house explosion with my boyfriend... the explosion was due to a propane leak that we were unaware of... obviously we would have smelled it... he started the dryer and then the whole basement and house blew up.... he had severe burns among many other things going on with him in the next 3 weeks...medically induced coma...so he couldnt talk to us and he was sleeping...he fought long and hard for those 3 weeks..but on Oct 10th he left us to go home to the Lord....but now im in this world wondering why couldnt it have been me and not him...he was only 22 a Marine fighting for our country...and I jus cant understand the feelings im going thru and why I can no longer sleep at night...and why God decided to take both my baby and the love of my life from me....in this world nothing makes sense anymore... i have lost faith in myself and in so many other things now... where do i go from here?

miss lonely

where do u go from here? hmm first things first a quick trip to the docs to make sure u are ok and not sleeping,eatin living off your nerves during this time needs a quick examination to make sure u are fine both physically/mentally

sometimes and i have been there myself more than once, our children are too good to enter the world at the time and place they would have done so the lord returns them to him, he doesnt want us to suffer so does it quickly to lessen the pain

nothing will help u with this period of life except time, sadly time heals all wounds but u will feel a range of emotions anger, pity, loss, lack of motivation etc.

you have to believe there is more out there for u to do/explore/achieve otherwise nothing else makes sense and the lord always has a plan even if we cant see it clearly yet

keep posting hon and take care of u during this time

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)

The explosion was in September.. Physicallly I Am Fine... Most things like this will change a person... everyones starting too see small changes in me....I jus ask why? As we all do when we lose someone or people that we love.. I guess I had to think that Peanut welcomed Daddy to Heaven on October 10th... I'm in denial... its obvious to everyone around me... maybe I'll come out of this shell sooner rather than later... I cant keep shutting out the world and being in my own little world... Hope things are looking up for as well....Perhaps they are not stars but rather openings where our loved ones shine down on us..
loving thoughts and prays as well your wayy...


im A GREAT believer that those who have gone before are greeting the new ones, and yes the stars that hang over our house are the family watching us

no one can live thru a life changing experience and not alter, your entire life and the things that are important have shifted axis. that is a huge thing for others to understand, i spent months finding a shorter distance to the hospital as if that would make my life alter any or save the lost child, but i had to know and be at ease with all that had happened that i wasnt responsible for the delay, its strange what affects u during these times and even weirder for those that watch us and love us to endure.

have pateince with them and remember some of these changes u are experiencing are not for the duration just for the here and now

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)

If wishes were mine to give, it would give me great pleasure to grant yours. All I can offer you is hope for the future,for your future is a brite one. It may be hard for you to imagine it now,but this is certain.
Tomorrow is your friend.

I am so sorry for your losses! Yes, definitely life altering! Life is so hard to understand sometimes!! There is nothing wrong with asking why! You deserve to ask why. That is how we will get through things like this...is by asking questions. I am glad you and others see small changes. That is how it works...small changes at a time. Our hearts need time to heal. We can't put the expectation on ourselves to get over something like this in a short amount of time. Allow yourself the time you need to heal, no matter how long! Your loved ones will always be with you. They will help you get through this. Don't give up!

Yes, it probably would be good to see a doctor to let them know what has happened in your life. To check up on you during this time for your health, mentally and physically.

We are here for you as well. How have you done these past couple days?

Thanks everyone. It's appreciated it. The past few days have been rough? I think its because I havent been able to sleep and when I do its dreams... or the things he said to me after the explosion play over and over in my head.. Saturday his family and I got invited to the Marine Corps Ball. As Guests of honor... which is nice it will also be another rough day..because him and I were supposed to go together... .I jus keep listening to what everyones telling me and taking it day by day...breathe...breathe.. is what I keep telling myself..

-‎"Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow."

-when looking foward seems impossible and looking back hurts inside, look up because they're forever watching over you... ♥


looking up is always good to do, those thunderclouds the sunsets are the way for u to find solace in these troubled times,

yes the ball will be hard but how proud u will be to think he was a part of something so special, life is never easy but in the end its always rewarding although at times it doenst seem like it

have a great ball

loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)

I'll probably post pictures from the ball. The new picture up is Drew... God rest his soul in peace.. I always try to look forward... even tho... everything seems impossible anymore...


pictures will be awsome,and much appreciated as well

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)