Why is it so hard for me to let go and move on, but seem so

Why is it so hard for me to let go and move on, but seem so easy for her? Was I really that bad of a husband? I mean I know all of the mistakes I made and some of the awful awful things I said in the past year out of anger and hurt and confusion, but for her to know from day one that she didn't want to work it out is such a kick in the face, Like whatever we had was never worth it is the worst feeling ever.

She's probably just said this to hurt you the way you've said things to hurt her too.

@java I wish. She’s with someone else already.

@java I didn’t say she never did. It seems so easy for her. I still love her. I miss her so much. I miss being a family. But when you lose feelings for someone I guess there’s just no getting them back. She said at one point that she wished it was as easy as pushing a button to be together again. That her head tells her one thing but her heart tells her another and she’s going with her heart this time. She doesn’t even want to be friends. I was never really given a fair chance… Thank you she is beautiful little girl, she is both of our lives. That hurts me because it’s like she’s paying the biggest price for her mom and I. She’s 2 1/2 years old and doesn’t deserve to be back and forth and emotionally confused. It breaks my heart. She is an innocent victim in all of this. Our biggest concern as parents is to protect our children, well I feel like we are hurting her more than anything. I don’t think that we were so far off that we couldn’t save our marriage. We went to counseling twice and she never went again. I continued to go for myself for a while but after she left, like other things, I couldn’t afford it on my own. Like I said, her mind was made up from the beginning. It didn’t matter what I did at that point.

@java That’s what people say. Be thankful for our baby girl. I don’t want better. I want her. Thank you for your kind words and understanding.

@java Believe me co-parenting is not a problem. Yes we love her dearly. I never ever talk bad about her mom. I do the opposite when she is with me and always remind her how much her mom loves her… Sometimes she can tell I’m upset and she says “Daddy OK?” It breaks my heart even more that she can be so sweet. It’s probably my biggest mistake but I tell her “Daddy’s sad… Daddy’s heart is broken… I love you and I love your mom”

@java Thanks!