Why is the narcissist hiding his new wife from me? He tells

Why is the narcissist hiding his new wife from me? He tells the kids to lie about
spending time with her. She's the reason we got divorced. It's not like I didn't know about her. Makes no sense. Ideas?

3 Hearts

It doesn't make any sense and after 11 years of marriage I know there is ALWAYS a reason behind his behavior. Is he planning something? Am I being paranoid? Or is this normal?

In my experience when my ex narc tried to hide stuff from me it was to make out I was controlling and obsessive. So he'd cheat on me, lie about it and try hiding it for me. But it was my fault for being too controlling and obsessive. They want to feel better about themselves knowing we are pining for their attention and love. I think it's some sort of game for them I guess

1 Heart

@Aria_66 I’m not pining for anything. He knows I refuse to even acknowledge his exsistance. Hiding his new wife from me makes no sense. I thought they were supposed to flaunt.

Cause he doesn't want you to warn her.

5 Hearts

I have no intention of warning her. Tried when I first found out about her in May. He married her days after our divorce. Why tell the kids to not tell me about her. It's really weird.

@Almostfree narcs love to triangulate. He has you poised to know you are out and she is in…no way he would promote healthy relations that eliminate his power .

He wants to make sure you don't have a chance to tell any truth so she can put 2 and 2 together.....just a thought. They lie so much and in his mind....you are a danger now that you no longer are controlled

3 Hearts

Also, anything the kids tell you is giving you power in his twisted mind. They just lie so much, he's probably hiding something....it coukd be as simple as his new wife is expecting or him exerting control over the kids.
This is the cynic I've become bc everything was twisted so much there was always reasons to what seemed random behavior

1 Heart

@comingoutofthedark his new wife is pregnant. He doesn’t know I know. He lies so much it is rridiculous. I just wonder why because I have made it perfectly clear to him. I don’t care. But when be lies it makes me paranoid.

In my opinion it's firstly because in their deluded world they are very moral judgemental people who won't admit they've had any affair or they'd be admitting they are wrong and secondly they like keeping everyone in little neat compartments so they can't compare notes or in case it exposes any lies xx

4 Hearts

@19yearsnowfree I agree with what you are saying. He looks down on cheaters although he’s cheated on everyone he’s been with… Me I’ve been cheated on twice that I know of. 2 more times that he’s talked away and the girls wouldn’t admit to it. Plus who knows how much more.

Ok, one last try. He wants you to try and "figure this out" when there is no figuring out an irrational delusional mind. You will never figure this out.
This is not how NC works - you are still indirectly in contact with him, and it is hurting you.

1 Heart

@jxxd I need help. It is so hard to go NC when my kids tell me so many things trying to make sense of the lies. They are so confused.

Maybe she doesn't look so hot...

1 Heart

@1tomanytears lol.