A close friend of mine, who's happily married and expecting her first child, once told me that how you start a relationship sets the tone for the relationship. Meaning, if you start off playing games, then that sets the tone. So, she continually reminds me not to play games from the onset. If a guy calls and asks me out the same day and I'm free, then go out with the guy. She encourages me not to act busy, just to seem busy and not to play hard to get. This advice stuck with me and I am very aware of how I start things off with a man. I found this article to be so insightful and helpful, as a continued reminder of not to play games;
"Playing games in a relationship leads to heartache for several different reasons. First, it is human nature to be affected emotionally and mentally when you feel that you have been betrayed. Many people who play games in their relationships do not realize how their actions can significantly impact the heart. Simply because they are only thinking of themselves and not you at the time they are playing the games.
Another reason why playing games impacts the heart is because it causes “Broken Heart Syndrome” due to sudden emotional stress that weakens the heart muscle. Broken Heart Syndrome (Stress cardiomyopathy) happens when the heart is stunned by stress hormones and adrenaline. So when someone has upset your heart, they have indeed caused you a medical heartache. Symptoms of “Broken Heart Syndrome” are chest pain, fluid in your lungs, heart failure and shortness of breath. This condition is temporary and usually last a couple of weeks. Although you recover completely from this medical condition, being a victim of a game player can forever hurt your heart emotionally.
Although the medical aspect of heartaches goes away in a couple of weeks, the emotional heartache from people who play games can last years. It is a mental torture that takes strength and courage to break free of. Many of the people who play games, mentally and emotionally torture you by keeping you dangling on a string. They are master manipulators who made you so weak for them that you will settle for anything just to hold to the relationship. This lost cause usually continues until your game player basically has played you up to the point that he or she no longer has use for you. This is when you may start experiencing love-sickness and start playing games yourself.
“Lovesickness” was actually a legitimate medical condition for thousands of years. Although it is not recognized as a medical condition today, I am proof that it does exist. Being a victim of lovesickness may not cause you to play the type of games that your partner played on you, but you do indeed play games. Graving for the attention of the culprit who is ignoring you cause you to resort to desperate measures. You start playing games by creating situations to get the person to visit, or make excuses to visit him without realizing you are borderline stalking. The fact that you both are now playing mind games to get what you want out of each other obviously does nothing but leads to more heartache. Simply because your acts of desperation makes you look like the fool, not him or her.
One of the less accepting ways why playing games in the relationship leads to heartache is because you easily set yourself up for the heartache. If you suspect he is playing games, you go on a stake out to catch him or her in his games. We all know when you look for trouble, you find it! If you knew in your gut the person was playing games, why do you subject yourself to more heartbreak? Another common thing we do is constantly call or visit the person just to get no answer, which indeed hurts, so why keep trying? He knows where you are and he knows your number! If he wanted to be with you, he would be there. Frequently checking your caller ID, emails, messages, cell-phone just to have no calls or replies from the person is a lonely heartbreaking experience that is indescribable.
You find yourself wondering what was wrong in your relationship that made your partner want to play games in the first place. Naturally you will think it must be something wrong with you. People suffering from heartaches due to their partner playing games results in low self-esteem, mood changes, insomnia, compulsive disorders, crying fits, depression and lack of concentration. When game playing in your relationship brings you to this dramatic moment in your life, you may need an intervention. If you are able to rise above this situation on your own, the heartache you suffered will be the most important life lesson you will ever learn. The stronger, polished you will be able to stay away from those who like to play games to prevent heartache in the future."
Source: Helium, by Michelle Hicks