Widowed for 1 year. new to the group

my husband, doug, died last february. we have 3 children together and we are trying to get through day to day. still waiting for legal issues concerning his death to be resolved so we are just waiting to have to relive it all in court. the hardest part is not hearing his voice everyday. he was gone with work alot and we spent a lot of time on the phone. our daughter just turned 17 and we had to celebrate the 2nd birthday without him. we dread the day she gets married. our oldest son is about to turn 19 and has no idea how to be the man he needs to be. our youngest is going to be 11 in may and doesn't yet understand what it means to be without his daddy for the rest of his life. still trying to make sense of everything. i know God has a plan and i'm sure doug served his to be taken at 40 years old, i just wish i could be let in on the plan. i try to be strong and put on the brave face but i just want to let it go and cry. i keep thinking i should have had a nervous breakdown by now cuz i feel stronger than i think i should. i know God is guiding me and is giving me strength. i just see how other women in my situation grieve and i feel like i must be broken. i just hope that through my strength i can help someone else find strength and know that they too can go on and find a peace within.

Dear Cindyboo,

I have not been through what you and your family are going through but I wanted to say that I am so sorry for what you've been through. You are such a good Mom and you've done wonderfully. I want you to know that I am keeping you and your kids in my thoughts and prayers.

You will see that there are so many amazing people here who will be there for you and help you out so much. These support groups gave me a safe place to recharge my batteries and feel safe and supported through some pretty tough days. Welcome and grab a cup of coffee and begin letting the wonderful people here, take good care of you!

Hugs, Suzee

I lost my husband in November and we didn't have children so I know your pain but I can't imagine also being a single mom! It's so hard to get through I know I have just been taking it all minute by minute. This site and the people on it has been wonderful! If you ever need to talk I'm here

thanks so much for the welcome. it is definitely day by day. some better than others. planning on starting my journal tonight. easier to journal after everyone is in the bed and i can focus on me for a few. that way i don't have to put on the brave face in front of the kids. thanks again.

Cindyboo-

I too lost my husband 15 months ago suddenly. We have 3 children, 18,15,11. I understand your grief. It is difficult knowing you have to be strong for your kids but having the roller coaster of emotions you are experiencing, I am grateful that I have had my children to focus on, otherwise there are days I don't think I would have gotten out of bed. But it is also difficult being the sole parent. My only advice is take it one day at a time. Live today, do your best today. Don't focus on tomorrow or the worries of tomorrow.

Thinking of you.

Cindyboo,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know a little about how you are feeling as my husband passed away suddenly Christmas Eve, leaving me with our two teenagers to raise alone. I started to worry if I could ever put up another Christmas tree, then decided that was something I could worry about next December, not today. My daughter asked who would walk her down the aisle to her future groom, I told her we would have to worry about that when the time comes. On June 2nd, my daughter graduates high school, and if that is not already going to be an emotional day, it is also my husbands birthday. But I have decided I can not worry about how I will feel that day, until that day arrives, as there is too much to do today. Day by Day is the ONLY way to get through this.

And do not beat yourself up for being stronger than you think you should be. I was feeling guilty at first because I didn't feel I was grieving enough. Then it hit me, my prayers were being answered. I had prayed for God to give me the strength to get through this for my kids' sake, and he was doing just that. He lets a little bit of that pain in to my life every day, but it comes in trickles and not in waves, and I am ever so thankful for that.

Just know that you are not alone, that you have come to the right place as so many can understand what you are feeling. God Bless you and yours.

From Mental & Physical Abuse to Grief & Loss