Even when good things happen, I can't feel pleasure. He's not here to share it with. I had a pleasant Labor Day Holiday week, camping with friends. We shared a lot of memories of Doug, sitting around the campfire. Today I was given the parttime job I wanted at my old school. 3 days on 4 off, can't beat that. Just enough to keep me busy, but not too. If Doug was still here I wouldn't want to work that much, but I need to fill my days now. I just can't feel excitement like I wish. Will I ever again? When I came back from camping I had a water leak, which required a plumber. Another occasion to want to talk it over with him. Every way I turn I need him and feel such a longing to talk to him. That is why I'm turning here for support. It has helped me before when I felt lost. I have fallen back into that obyss, and need my friends to encourage me. Hugs, Raylene
raylene
oh dear hon u have hit the blues, since when did u give up onyourself? its only been a short time and u have been coping marvelously.
its hard to not reach for the phone or turn to chat to them when problems happen but u can still do that, doug would have known u could cope with these hic cups, why not still chat to him out loud and listen to your heart thats where the answers lie and u will hear them.
but u have forgotten to be kind to u so u are having a bad day and the house isnt straight, the kids have grown up problems and want to chew your ear off and u have nothing left emotionally to give to anyone, then stop and recharge those batteries. get a pen and write that dialog with doug, make u happy by all the times u have had to be in this situation before and take comfort in the fact u managed then to survive the little inconsequences so u will again.
doug has gone in the tangible form his memories his way of looking at things and his love still remain with u to keep u safe
hugs and kisses
as always loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Domestic, Once again you have shared the words I needed to hear. I know you're right, i just miss his quick witty resposnes to life's difficult times or even to the good things in life. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this to you. i know that Doug will always be with me, but, it gets hard to face life sometimes not getting his input. I know it's something I have to get used to and have been adjusting to. I guess I had a relapse because all the horrific memories of 4/7 came flooding back 9/7. I have to focus more on the good times we shared, but that can hurt too. I'm starting to work 3 days a week with friends I used to work with in the guidance office of my alma mater. I know staying active and being useful will help enormously. I know I have to move forward no mater how hard it may be. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom, I have stopped the tears and am determined to keep my chin up. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom. Mucho Virtual Hugs, Raylene
Funny Face
I know your post was a few days old so I hope by the time you read this that you're feeling better. I think what we're going thru really is a process. Do you feel as if you take two steps forward and one step back? I wish I had some great words of wisdom to make you feel better but I don't. I just hope it helps to know that everything you're feeling is "normal" and that you are not alone. I think it's important to be kind to yourself right now. You will be in my thoughts!
Love to you my friend!
raylene
as always my heart goes out to u in the time of need, im glad the tears have stopped, rumor has it computers dont like gettin soggy. :D
everyday things do hit u in the face but u are doing so well, every day is a tribute to your strength of character, your legacy to doug as u strive to move forward, and one day u will get there
the pain that u are feeling right now is totally acceptable so dont let others tell u that its silly to feel like u do but wow working at your alma mater how cool will that be?
day by day thats all we can do sweetie and u are doing fine
lots of love and hugs
as always positive thoughts and positive vibes
D :)
Thanks guys for caring and your encouraging comments. I am doing better, just have to keep moving forward. I know there will be bumps in the road and I just have look beyond them. I so appreciate your support and having this outlet to express my true feelings. So often, when asked, I just say I'm doing okay, which isn't always totally true. I tell them what they want to hear and not every detail like I can post here. I don't know how anyone can get through this journey without having access to express all the little details of the pain. The details you would share with the one that's gone. This has been a life saver for me and I hope others will utilize this wonderful avenue to release the pain. I know going to work with those I care so much about will give me value to my life that I feel missing now. Working with teens again will keep my mine active and off myself too. Thanks again for all the help. Loads of Virtual Hugs, Raylene
raylene
working with teens will drive u straight to the nearest lunatic bin :)
no seriously that will be so awsome and u have such a lot to give to those who may find it hard to cope, express how they feel and here u will be on tap,
and to work with friends makes life so much easier as well
good for u girlfriend go get them :)
loveing thoughts and positive vibes and hugs
D :)