Without my best friend

Hello Everyone, I am not sure what I am here for, quiet support I suppose. My husband just died on his birthday Oct 8th, 2011, he was 42 years old. We have three wonderful children, a daughter in the army who is currently in Guantanamo Bay Cuba and two boys 16 and 11. Just three weeks after my daughter was stationed in Cuba, my husband was in a motorcycle accident and died instantly. Needless to say the holidays have been extremely difficult, we own a small business that doesn't pay for itself when I am not there to pick up the majority of the hours, and now the insurance is investigating our paperwork because it was under two years old so I am in danger of losing everything we have worked so hard for. I am devastated, my best friend is gone, my children and I are mourning but secretly on top of all that I have no idea what our future will hold. I am still in shock, I still feel like I will hear his Harley roll up the drive way at any minute, I can't believe he is really gone, I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life with out him. I thought New Years would be a good time to start looking up for things to improve or something, but instead it feels like I am just starting a new year with out the love of my life and it's going to continue every year after. Everyone says I am so strong, I am doing so good, they have no idea. After work (just started back this week) I go home and feel so exhausted and depressed I just lay in bed, I do a little computer work if I can but mostly I just want to lay there until my boys get home from school and muster up enough energy to make dinner or visit for a minute. I am trying to be there and get healthy for them I know they need to see it in me. I have been all through the psychology classes and know what to expect when in mourning, but none of that prepared me for this. I feel for all of you and have been reading posts but have never answered or looked for support until now, I will say that it is helpful reading all your stories and I thank you for sharing.

First, I am so glad you found the site, it is truly amazing! Second in regards to your business, I would suggest you contacting an attorney from your local legal aid and discussing your situation. I know that this is truly not something you want to deal with at the moment, but I know this is weighing on you and having a plan is better than waiting for the sky to fall in.

I am so sorry for your incredible loss, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me anytime!


Thank you so much for your reply. Thank you for your suggestion, it's a very good idea. I will get a hold of them and see what my options are. Did you lose someone? This week has been incredibly difficult. The life insurance company is being dishonest, luckily I have someone helping me with that but it's so stressful it just makes me sick, and in the middle of all that, i just got the last report from the medical examiner. It should make it more real, it does, but it doesn't.

Again, Thank you for your time.