Worried about my biological dad.

I dont know if my biological dad is still using or not. He said he is doing fine but idk. I found out he has court coming up for burglary and other charges, and when i asked him about it he said the it is all just a big misunderstanding and that nothing is wrong and not to worry. But i called the court clerk, she said if he doesn’t get paroled then it could be 1-15years or more depending on the judge and past offenses and that there is an attorney involved. When i told him this he freaked out and told me to stop looking him up and that its all okay. Im 22, my dad has been in and out of jail and prison my whole life for drugs and other stuff. He got out right before my 19th birthday and was doing really well till he met and married his wife, who i hate. I am just so upset that he would not be upfront with me he things that a felony is a misunderstanding and that everything is going to be okay. But my gut and intuition tells me i may never get to see him again a free man.

1 Heart

He can’t ever change unless he finally understands that drugs is his first love, addiction is a very vicious cycle. I hope that whatever happens at his trial he gets the help he needs so you can have him in your life as a real father figure.

It is so difficult to watch someone you love suffer. However, he is right, you need not look after him, or check up on him. He is a grown adult. This is his path. You have yours.

In my experience, the only way people change is from their own consequences. These are his consequences.

Speaking as a recovering addict, I minimalized, justified and rationalized all my behavior. It looked crazy to everyone else (because it was) but looked completely understandable to me. No one could tell me different and if they tried I cut them out of my life.

Acceptance of his situation, doesn’t mean giving up; it means acknowledging reality and focusing on what we can change—our responses, attitudes, and actions.

By focusing on self-improvement, we become stronger and better able to handle things we can’t control.