Worried

I am worried I am starting yet another new addiction! I think I may have a drinking problem....Who wakes up and by 9am takes sips straight from a vodka bottle? Not a healthy thing to do. I feel like that in order to cope I just will have a little bit to drink. Most times I do not drink alot as I have had issues with it and do not want to be drunk. I am scared tough that if I am resorting to this that even though I think I can control it now, that soon it will be another hard addiction to beat. Please someone, help me...help me figure out this thing called "life" and why I am so unhappy. I am afraid I am going to spiral out of control. This is not me I am usually in control and always trying to fix everyone else. It hurts me inside to know even a stranger is unhappy and I am there to help in anyway. But I cry out to people and I get I dont know what to tell you. Its frustrating and sad and lonely and scarey. Scarey that it can lead to things that will hurt my life not make them better. I need someone to talk to, anyone out there?

lily123 - i think it is a good thing that you realize where you are headed and that this could get out of control. This is a good start to helping yourself.

One good piece of advice i got from a friend is: when you are upset, what are you really upset about?

This was given to me when i would complain i was annoyed with something or someone and she would tell me to stop and think about what was really bothering me. This has helped me come to some good self realizations.

Toss that bottle of vodka, and when you wake up and feel the urge for a sip ask yourself why, dig deep and think about what got you to this place, and what makes you happy. What thoughts, ideas, hopes make you feel good?

Also if might help to see a therapist and talk through what you are feeling and they can help you dig deep to see where this is coming from.

Keep writing here.

lily

how long has this been going on and what started it in the first place? we dont just wake up and think thats the drink of the day we have to reach for it knowing the consequences full well so what causes this to happen

loving thoughts and positive vibes

D :)

The drinking is just a recent thing. No D, you are right we don't just wake up and that is the drink of the day. I know it is terribly wrong and I can not even believe it is me doing it. I am just so frustrated with my life and have such anxiety it is consuming me. I have dr appts coming up but for now that is all I can do to get through the day. I hate myself for doing it and pray God protects me until I can get the help I need. I do not even know how to be normal anymore. This of course is making my marriage worse and return makes me worse. I keep praying and I know God will not fail me. I must be patient.
Thanks so much for your continued love and support.
Hugs,
Lily

lilly

hon u need to start being kind to yourself and loving yourself, none of us are perfect but u dont need to be so harsh with u.

please look at all your good points and tell yourself them repeatedly this is just a patch u are going thru and u will survive, but as usual u need to be your number one fan, come on hon im here every step of the way with u

hugs loving support and of course as always

loving thoughts and posiitive vibes

D :)

Domestic,
You are so sweet and such a gift from above. Once again your words have lifted me up. Thank you so much, it means the world to me to know I am not alone. I know it is just a patch I am going through, but it is the hardest one I have ever had to endure.
Hugs, loving support, thoughts and positive vibes right back at ya! Keep on being you the world could use a few more like you in it!!
Lily
xo

lilly

i like to think of our friendship as a two way street when u are up i can be down.

but come on tell me one good thing that happened today to u, mine would be the joys of drinking coffee all by myself with out the tribe, watching the mist rise of the hills, simple but so lovely.

keep smiling hon and be pleased with the things u manage to do today, look at them and give yourself a well done hug from me

loving support, hugs and as always

loving thoughts and positive vibes
D :)

Dearest D,
Today I was an absolute wreck. I had a therapist appt at 2:oo and I barely could drive my car there. I left there with peace and joy in my heart. I do not know how it happened but it did. My therapist said for me to just stop, breath and let all the problems go out of me for now. They will always be there but for now be happy in the moment. Happy with me and find peace in that. At first I was super resistant but tried it anyway. I can not look for someone else to make me happy. What a burden I have put on my husband, no wonder he is acting distant. I hope I can continue this as the other is just destroying me. Thank you for your sweet message. I am so happy that you could find peace today with your coffee and yourself. Way to go, u r an ispiration to me. It is the little things we all need to slow down and take time to really enjoy. I do not think this world would be so screwed up if most of us could do that.
Hugs.
Lily

hon

u are so right it is the little things we neglect and your therapist sounds like a good one, mayb u could practise breathing when u feel down and see if it helps, we all have to live for the moment cos we dont know whats around the corner or the next minute of the day, although finding joy in the laundry is stretching it a bit too far....dont u think ?

no i agree the world wouldnt be so screwed up if we took time out to look around us, but most people are trying to keep their heads above water and see to others rather than taking five minutes for themselves, try and give yourself five mins at least twice a day to enjoy all that is happening although tonite i would sell my soul for ear plugs grandson number one has started to learn the songs for the concert at xmas and musical he isnt bless him, his voice is at that straining stage ready for breaking and it hits so sharp notes before it drops to a growl. very funny but he is at an age where we couldnt laugh at him. arh well untill next time

loving support and hugs

as always loving thoughts and positive vibes

D :)

Thanks D,
Your comment about your grandson brought a smile to my face. How cute they are at that age. Last year my grandson was practicing for me his songs and there was one that had me in tears he was so serious and the song was so funny. Thank God for those precious gifts!!
I am starting today off with a positive attitude and working from there. Wish me luck! I also want to see about getting a puppy from a rescue or somewhere that doesn’t cost a lot. If you have any suggestions send them my way. My therapist said to go on petfinder.com so I am going to see.
Anyway, take care of you and have a blessed day.
Hugs,
Lily

lilly

wow a puppy could be just what u need, unconditional love all the time sounds just what u need.

the blind society are always looking for people to house the dogs they train and u have the puppy and get him use to surroundings people the doorbell and chaos in general then they come and take him daily for training and return him at the end of the day (rather like having a school child again) so that u can put into practise all the things they have learnt that day.

they bring the puppy food and things u just house train them as u would a normal pup u were going to have.

and yes the grandchildren are precious in all they do daily.

ok here it comes WISHING EVERY LUCK AND SUCESS FOR A POSITIVE DAY and of course sending my support as well as

loving thoughts and posiitive vibes
D :)

Hi Domestic,
Thank you sweet love for the great idea where to check out for the puppy. I am so excited! I have something fun and really positive to work on today. Something just for me that I Want to do. That hasn't happen in awhile. I will keep you posted on my progress.
It is my grandson's 9th birthday today so that will be another positive and happy thing to celebrate. Thanks again for all your support. Have a great Day!!
Hugs,
Lily

lilly

u give that grandson a big kiss from me and enjoy this special day with him.

i hope u get the puppy soon just think of all the things u can do then

hope the excitment builds and hurry up and get that pup :D

im almost on the edge of my seat as if its gona be my puppy, lol

as always support and loving thoughts and positive vibes

D :)