Wow, I am so glad that today is over. Thanksgiving was my Mo

Wow, I am so glad that today is over. Thanksgiving was my Mom's masterpiece. My favorite call of the whole year was to call her the day before Thanksgiving on my way to work "Hey Mom, what's up?" ... to which she would reply "Well, I've got three pumpkin pies, a mincemeat for your father, apple pies are in the oven, and I have the pecan pies ready to go in. Yesterday I baked four loaves of pumpkin bread - two with pecans, and two plain, and I made a turkey breast and my gravy is done....Your father and I are just having a cup of coffee and then I am going to get crusts ready for chocolate cream pies...." She was amazing, and never more confident and comfortable in her own skin than at Thanksgiving . Last year the doctor discharged her the night before Thanksgiving. I made dinner in her kitchen with her over my shoulder a lot of the time...my sister baked the pies. I couldn't bring myself to cook in her kitchen without her, so we had dinner today at our house. I made dinner without her, my sister brought the pies. When I asked who would say grace, everyone got so quiet, that I said I would. The minute I bowed my head and closed my eyes, the tears just broke. I kept trying to make any sound at all other than a sob. When I heard my Dad's voice start the prayer from across the table, I really lost it. It's been six months, and there are still moments I can't catch my breath, mornings that I can't get out of bed, nights I can't sleep...but I got through today - her day - and for that I am thankful.

1 Heart

She sounds like she was a wonderful person. I'm so sorry for your loss. Six months is really not that long, the pain must still be pretty fresh. Glad you got through the day.

1 Heart

Thanks , she was amazing, and such a big part of me - I am having a lot of trouble making sense of the world without her in it.

1 Heart

Your crying was a good impulse. When a person cries, it helps them heal from grief.

1 Heart

I can relate to this. Because I have lost both parents and a brother as well as a best friend. So I know that it is hard. And grieving is natural. Tears are healthy. But when I lost my mom I decided I was not going to make this destroy me. I decided to carry her everywhere I go and to pretend she is right with me. I kept that fresh in my mind to try to not be crushed. So it worked so beautifully. So I put my dad in one pocket and my mom in my other pocket and my brother in my back pocket. Now I carry them all wherever I go. I love that I did this and find it so comforting, I also see signs when I talk about them sometimes. Like a beautiful bird or a shooting star. It is really comforting to do this. I hope this helps you deal with loosing her.

@PinkFloyd
Okay, you touched my heart. I miss my brother like you miss your mom. My heart goes out to you and I am so sorry for your loss.
Know that you are right where you are suppose to be. There are many stages of grief and everyone grieves differently and everyone will grieve their loss for as long as it takes. I am glad you are losing it and sobbing...you should be. Six months is still early. What you are experiencing is normal. It's been 4 years since my brother died and I miss him everyday. And I still have times where I break down. It gets less and less with time. It's normal. If you were to tell me you weren't weeping or feeling...then, I would be concerned. What you are going through is life changing. It is a major transition, so feeling it is very important.
It's when you find yourself stuck...in the same place, (not changing stages, [you can go to one stage then back to the previous stage several times, before you are done with a stage])but if you ever feel there is no movement at all for quite a while then that's when it is time to get professional help, pastoral counseling, therapist or a grief group. If that time comes...you will know. Right now you seem to be doing just what you should be doing,,,feeling! Hospice's have groups and you would always be welcome...no matter where you live. I went to a grief group earlier this year because I was stuck in anger. I'm not stuck anymore. I found forgiveness.
So, God Bless You...I felt your tears and your pain. I am really sorry for your loss. Let me know if you need to talk...I'm here for ya.

From Mental & Physical Abuse to Grief & Loss