Y oh Y can't I find what I need

Hate these days, trying to find more work, more financial freedom, find the time to enjoy myself and engage in things i have put on the back burner because I"m trying to take care of things. I quit looking for love after my last ridiculous relationship, I almost settled for a jack-ridonkulous of a man if i shall even give him the title of a man cuz he wasn't. Didn't fulfill my needs, we didn't do anything fun all that much, he wasn't there for me when i needed him, didn't support me emotionally, or work for all that much and that's enough talking about that. Am over it, plus the sex was sh*t and that alone screams to me "HELL NO!!"
ANyway, I've been so disappointed in myself with being set back with my goals in my life and plus with the relationships that I have had that, i thought taking a break to work on myself is wise.Plus would give me back the confidence i needed to be in the type of relationship with those i always thought were too smart or too successful or too whatever for me. I have this thing in my head that i have to be this BIG well to do, sophisticated female that is intellectually stimulating, and successful that i feel i'm the complete opposite.

Especially since i'm still working on finishing my BS degree and wanting to go on from there.I'm 31!! YIKES!! But i feel until i'm done with crap i won't be attractive to those kinds of men. I DON"T KNOW!!!Or it might be too late? This is taking too long, i'm lonely as heck, want just someone to hold etc. and someone to just go out and enjoy life's moments with!! I don't want to just get any joe-smuck in a bar if you know what i mean, i want something meaningful not a one nighter. I dunno i did the online dating thing and its been up and down, last attempt was ovr 6 months ago and i almost walked out on some dates cuz it was a total nightmare. I'm def not settling but am getting to that vulnerable point again if u know what i mean. I hate this, trust me i can be alone, but as u all know it just sucks sometimes, it really does STINK!!!!
I can't believe i just wrote all this, i never really thought i would actually fess up to this, but hopefully maybe now that i have, maybe i can get some honest answers. Ouch this might hurt:) But honesty is freedom!

Hi ClimbButterfly-pea, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings on what is going on in your life. It is so hard to really get it all out there but once you do, it really feels so invigorating and freeing in a sense. I am honestly right there with you, I really have such a difficult time finding balance between work and my personal life. And, there is a part of me that continually feels that I need to be this perfectly put together woman before I meet the right man. I have found this to be totally and completely untrue. I see my girlfriends, who are still building themselves and their lives up, meeting amazing men. How and why they meet these men is because they manifest who they would like to meet. It is very important to work on you and feel good about yourself, that is an absolute must, but at the same time allow yourself to manifest your ideal man and relationship. Once you start putting that energy out there, then you will start to attract that type of man. I walk around with an invisible neon sign that flashes "serious men apply here, all else keep moving right along". I put this out there energetically and honestly that's what I have been attracting into my life. Ok, I haven't met the right one just yet, but at least I am attracting men who are more on my page in terms of where I am in my life.

Continue working on yourself, but don't put your personal life on hold. Life and time flies far too quickly and if this is something that is important to you, then make it a priority. Try to find balance between "you" time and time for finding and attracting the right man into your life.

I was so turned off my online dating so many times throughout the past couple of years, but I realize more and more that I never really gave it a proper chance. Look at it as an additional channel to finding your right one. I am giving it another go.

Wishing you all of the very best and sending you tons of positive energy.

Yeah i will, i saw this one plentyoffish someone on here recommended it and I intend to check it out, should be different. Yes your so right!!! Manifest, i will and I'm doing pretty okay with working on myself. I'm not exactly where i want to be but who the heck is ever is truly satisfied? Some when they get to where they want to be strive for more and in a way, i feel i'm kind of like that but can appreciate the simple beauties in life. SO i'll appreciate me I AM NOT PERFECT BUT DARN I LOVE MYSELF ANYWAY!!! I should wear a shirt that says Heck I am not Perfect but Am Darn Happy to be HUman!!! But your RIGHT!!! think of what you want, manifest it, believe it, and in time you'll get it or close to it or even better then what you expected!! i shoot for the last one i mentioned but will have fun in the meantime getting there. Thanks for the tips!! I needed that!!:) So glad i opened myself up to this, I really love this site and the people on here are FABULOUS!!!! Ur X-Tra FABULOUS PUppyDogLvR:) thanx!

Oh, thank you so much ClimbButterfly-pea, right back at you..I think that are oh so fabulous. I love that you LOVE yourself and are in a place where you realize that you can put yourself out there, but continue to work on yourself. I am a continual work in progress and by no means am I where I want to be in life. But, I really believe that the right man and I can work towards our life goals together as well. And that's the beauty of a partnership/relationship.

Again, so thrilled to have read your incredibly upbeat and positive comment! Bravo!

I agree with you completely, one day we'll both meet someone whom complements us and is willing to stand by us through thick and thin, and in those funny moments laughs and lives life with us!!!:) YOur RIGHT Positive energy is the only way to manifest what you want. Its hard sometimes but its worth the work so is the daily grind of LIFE!!:) U have a FANTASTIC week my friend!!:)

Hey there,
Yes we all have felt the way you are feeling. It is definitely important to handle the aspects in your life you feel are lacking, but I hope you are feeling them for the right reasons. I'm a firm believer that a good relationship will come to you when YOU are ready. It's hard not to feel the pressure when every year we are getting older and realizing all the things we though we'd have accomplished seem so far away. But honestly, who cares? It's your life and things will happen at your pace. You can't force things like love to happen, they just do. As far as the loser you were describing before, glad you got rid of him. He sounded like a huge waste of your time. This may sound so cheesy and I'm sure you've heard it before, but understand the right man will appreciate you for who you are and will see the value in what you have to offer. Don't push youself to do or be someone you are not to impress people. Those type of people aren't worth your time. Find someone who makes you feel comfortable with who you are and appreciates what you have accomplished in life. I totally understand feeling lonely and perhaps convincing yourself that someone is better than no one. But trust me, in the end it'll just bite you in the ***. When I'm single, I try embracing it because I'm sure we've all been in relationships that tend to get familiar and slightly boring and we look at our single friends in envy. Until you take the plunge, enjoy living your life freely and date people and see what's out there. Emjoy your time one day at a time and maybe you won't feel so stressed about where you 'aren't' and enjoy all the great things you do have at the moment.

Best of luck and keep in touch
xx, July

THanks I agree you do need to embrace life we all do and take things one day at a time. ITs really hard for me to do that because i'm working so hard to make thigns better for myself in the present and especially in the future and so much is in limbo right now that i just feel well overwhelmed sometimes. But i know that's life.I do feel secure by myself always been good with being alone or going about it solo. I just feel lonely at times like everyone does and yes it is better to be in a relationship THE RIGHT ONE NOT JUSt any ol' one like you said before. Than it is to be alone. In time i know or hope things will happen for the right reasons.
WE'll just have to see but yeah, i have been doing things in my life to have a better future for myself, education wise, career wise hopefully soon enough financial wise and like puppdoglvr mentioned before also for my personal life which i have been sorta putting on hold trying to get the rest of this in line. I think though after i attain this new job i've been chasing down i'll take some time to go out and enjoy myself a bit and take up some adventure hobbies i've been postponing.
Your right JUly thanx for your advice:) I will try to relax and take in more fun in this thing we call LIFE:)

I absolutely think that we need to try to enjoy and embrace each and every moment in life. Though, it is also so incredibly important to work towards things that you hope and wish for in life, such as a relationship. I used to take the very passive approach for my personal life, whereas I have always been very proactive and aggressive in my professional life. My business has been a priority for far too long and all of my close friends and family started to intervene, asking why I would put so much energy into one facet of my life and not into the other. That each needed equal attention. I used to feel that I needed to be hugely successful and in perfect shape in order to attract the right man and that would happen when I was ready. Well, life happens and I realize that I'll never be in that perfect place in my life because there is no such thing as perfect. We all have our quarks, we are all working on ourselves, and we all deserve love every step of the way. I have completely changed my train of thought and outlook on life. I can't sit back and wait for love to come to me, much like I can't sit back and wait for my business to be successful. These both take work...it's good positive work, but they take work. So, I have become a bit more proactive as of late and I am really changing my ways, because obviously what I have been doing hasn't been working thus it requires change.

As well, I have never lived by the biological clock ticking or any pressures to me married with a family. I have lived my life in a good fulfilled way and I have always believed that I would be in a relationship when it was right for me, not for everyone else. Well, I am finally really truly ready and I am doing it for the very right reasons. I am doing it to have a different level of fulfillment in my life and to work towards having a family as well. I think that creating a family is a beautiful thing and it's something that I dream of.

But, in the meantime, I am loving and embracing life. Not every day is peachy keen and all happy happy joy joy, but I am trying my best.

Bravo PuppyDogLVR and thank you for your advice. It helps having something you worked hard to see it come to fruition. That is something too that I am working toward in my life and with my careers i hope to become successful and attain my own home ,, family one day etc. but right now i'll just settle for my own private place again. Thank you and have a wonderful week:)

Thank you! And, those are all such fantastic goals, which you will totally achieve because of your amazingly positive attitude. I am also working toward the same goals of having a successful business, purchasing a home, finding love, having a family.... We are in this together and we will get there so soon! I just know it.