It seems like the only people that understand my head are my other personalities. My family screams at me, then say they didn't; make me feel empty, then say it is just me that I am crazy; They don't even try to understand that what they let happen to me has caused most of this "craziness" that I feel. When it is all to much I cut myself. It is the ONLY way I can regulate my feelings, when I can't cut myself then I flip and become a completely different person and I want everyone around me to go away. I have said this to my family for years yet the still make fun of me for it and call me crazy. Hell, my father even says I do it for attention. Um.. NO.. I want as little attention on me as possible. I don't know how else to make these people understand what the hell is going on. I don't know what to do except just run away and start over. I don't know how I am suppose to do that though, they make it impossible. Someone help me understand why I can't figure out any other way to be then this. I don't know how to make them understand that I don't want them around bc of how they are, not because of how I am and that they call me crazy without giving a second thought to how I feel. After all, this is the only way I know how to be, it isn't so crazy to me, it is normal. How they are seems more crazy.
I so wish you had better support at home. I cannot imagine how you feel when they say you are crazy, you are not crazy, they are driving you crazy. Is there any family member outside the home that might understand you? You need a strong support system and one that does their best to understand you!
I don't have anyone really. I am so lost to tell you the truth. That you for your support though... It feels good to have someone say it isn't me