You think it's control

Mental Health Eating Disorders & Body Dysmorphia
1

This is not control. I controlled everything I ate/didn't eat for a long time and now I try to eat cereal 2 days in a row now and I want to keep it down and I can't and I'm hungry and I want to give all this up but it's like it won't give me up. I feel terrible and I'm going home for Christmas finally and my family is going to be so worried. And I'm going to have to find a new therapist. My old therapist was a blesing, but what if I can't find an eating disorder specialist who takes my insurance? I happened to go to the one I had by coincidence and my mom's going to be super woried if I specify that I need one. But maybe she'll feel better about me going to a therapist for eating disorders rather than watch me suffer and not see one. Hmmm. Simplicity is all I want. Apparently it's alot to ask for.

Btw- It made me feel good to read all the replies from my first post. This group definatly seems supportive and makes me feel welcome :)

2

Please follow through with finding a therapist! I hope your time with your family is positive for you.
Take care of yourself and please continue to write here...Jan ♥

3

Yes, please try and get a therapist! That will help you a lot. Your mom might feel worried at first, but like you said, she probably feel alot better knowing you are working on getting help! Keep posting and don't be too hard on yourself!

xxx
Maggie

4

i'm sure your mom/family will support you no matter what. they want their daughter to be happy and healthy.

i know finding a therapist is worrying but keep up the search, it is your next step to not only gain back simplicity but happiness too.

let us know how you are doing.

love
maedi