TLDR: I dont know if i should move to my bfs house or live with my mother, living with my mother would imply i woudnt see my bf so much and vice versa. And we are not working.
So im in that moment of life that i feel like i need to make a decision, i’ll either move in with my bf or continue to live with my mom, who seems to be pushing me away from the house, she even said that shes the bird mom pushing the baby away from the nest, the thing is i dont wings and i dont know how to fly. Ive been commenting about living with my mom, the ants and how she doesnt clean and all and we had a conversation where she told me what was bothering her in my behaviour, things i didnt realize i stopped doing. It was an eye opener for sure. I still feel lost and i think i will never not feel lost, because i see many people, even older adults being lost and at this point i think its part of life to be lost, but im scared of moving to my bfs house. Its in another district, i wont have easy access to health providers as i did in my mothers house and ive been going more to it cuz my back hurts a lot. I still fear sometimes that im not liking my bf but i think im just used to him now, we’ve been dating for 2 years and are together for 3, so we are a pretty established couple but neither of us have steady jobs, its been very hard to find a job for everyone and we are no different, we were planning on giving private english classes but we dont know how to start and we feel paralyzingly lost about it and to sum up we are just lost and im lost in not knowing where im going. His dad gives him money from his dead mother, he pays two bills i think and my bf is paying the rest, we dont even have internet in the house, we are using the neighbour’s lol so yeah i know its long, sorry