A new leaf on the family tree

I did one of those DNA kits on a lark and ended up matching with a man who turns out to be a long lost uncle. My grandpa sired him out of wedlock before he met my grandma and probably never knew about him. I wasn’t crazy about this since I already kinda hate how messed up my family is. I have two half-sisters ( one that I have never met since she was given up for adoption) and a whole sister. My grandparents both divorced and remarried so there’s that too.
Anyway, I’ve been chatting with Uncle and tried to connect him my grandma (who was my grandpas first wife) to learn more about him. Problem is my sister has decided to play gatekeeper to manufacture some drama for herself. She lives near my grandma and sees her more so I asked her to see if she would be willing to talk to Uncle, After stringing me along for a while by saying she doesn’t know what grandma will have to say, she admitted that she hasn’t even asked. Her excuse was that she spends too much time caring for her to have had the 10 minute convo about it.
For context my sister is notorious for being an unreliable procrastinator. She’ll ignore issues or even bills until they become issues.
I’m frustrated because she’s pulling a page out of our late mothers playbook and trying to position herself to be in charge of this even though it doesn’t really concern her. I’m tired of humoring her and if she doesn’t get it together my new 67 year old uncle may never get the chance to hear about his father from the last living person who really knew him.

Sorry for any issues. This is my first post since the overhaul.

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Update for no one in particular.
I talked with my sister and we had a fight. She accused me of caring more about Uncle than Grandma and went on about how she’s running her whole life now and “My problems” that I am “Forcing on her” are too much for her to absorb.
I’m not sure if she got my mom’s old cross or had to find her own to climb up on.

2 Hearts

How awful! You are trying to do a good thing! Can you ask your grandmother directly?

1 Heart

I reached out as much as I could but I’m not sure if I’ll hear back. My sister is acting as her caretaker so I’m not sure how much access she has to Facebook and the like

Do you think your sister is caretaking or taking advantage? Is your grandmother safe? -SG

She’s safe. My sister just has a bad mix of protective instincts and narcissism. She needs to weigh in on everything and have her opinion be important. In cases like this her creating drama is the goal.

Ok, glad she is safe, hope you can connect her with your found uncle.

why not just call your grandma yourself? I’m sure she’d want to talk to you and might find the whole thing pretty exciting. Your sister might be nervous/unsure of how to bring up the conversation, and you really dont need her permission to speak with your own grandmother. Nor does your grandmother need approval and can make her own decisions. :stuck_out_tongue: Just take charge!

Whatever happened?

I’m taking a break from talking with her. Haven’t heard anything from Grandma. As far as I know she’s still in touch with Dad but I haven’t gotten any updates.

Families are a struggle.