Am I In Love With Being In Love?

Not sure exactly where this post should go, but relationships and self-care seem to be the underlying topics that I’m facing at the moment. So, I’m still a married man who has determined that my marriage relationship was no longer fitting me. My current wife and I have been separated for almost a year now in two separate places and almost 2 years if you count that I lived in a separate part of the house for almost a year. There seemed to be years of built-up resentment and other negative feelings that contributed to the break up on my end. We briefly tried marriage counseling but that was unsuccessful. Prior to that, I was married for 8 or 9 years and that relationship ended in divorce for similar reasons. Immediately as both relationships were coming to an end, and as I began what I considered a healing process (loving and doing for myself), someone else came along by sheer chance and I started a deep relationship with them. Hence the current relationship I am in. It began all lovey-dovey and we talked for hours each day. Recently something changed and I’m not entirely sure whether it is both of us or one of us (I take it that the infatuation/honeymoon stage has ended), and I’m left feeling ambivalent about whether I want to go on trying to keep the relationship going. However, I can’t quite place the feelings and am afraid to approach my now lover about them. I fear that I have placed myself in another situation where I will start to drift from my current boo and try to start healing on my own again–and then I will eventually feel like the relationship is a lost cause and I will hit the eject button and pull away–then, someone new will come along and I’ll get right back into the same cycle again. I don’t know if the answer is to let go of the current relationship and try to heal fully for real this time, or to stick it out. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for listening. :slightly_smiling_face:

What is the holdup with the divorce, obviously you are done with the relationship if you are already dating.

Thanks for asking. It’s a little complicated since my current wife and I own a house in a nice school district and her special needs son is in HS there. I am trying to wait for him to finish HS and for the house to gain some value. Otherwise, I would have divorced already.

Could she potentially buy you out of the house?

Not at the moment. She’s struggling financially at the moment.

Can you sell and help her find an apartment close to his school?

If you two divorce, will she have the house? I think you need to talk to your current partner about what is going on with you, everyone goes through healing phases, sometimes its good to have someone else and sometimes you need to be alone for that, you need to figure this out, and to help i need more information about what you have been feeling and etc