So my boyfriend decided to stay with me and work things out but still wants to be friends with the other women he had (has??) feelings for and almost left me for. Part of me wants to give him that space and trust but a much louder part of me is dying not knowing what they really talk about and whether or not he thinks of her when we're together. I don't think he's purposefully hiding anything but I found a message from her and it just got me wondering and crying. I'm still so scared of losing him, even though she's leaving the state to go back home either tomorrow or Sunday.
He has agreed to go to counseling but it is becoming rediculously hard finding a counselor and getting an appointment. I'm so frustrated!!!!
Its a hard route your choosing & yes you will be emotionally exhausted from it & am hopeful you dont lose yourself in the long haul as it plays out. I'd put my foot down. Am wondering why your wanting him to feel better & not YOURSELF that you would place all this responsibility on YOU? You havent mentioned what your scared of w/losing him? What is keeping you tied up within you that you would surround yourself w/this mistreatment? Even if he doesnt go to counseling w/you I'd suggest you go anyway it will help you think some things through for YOU.
April
Hi Lost and lonely..., This is just me - my thought of what I would do. If it were my boyfriend and he wanted to be with me and work it out then I would say NO to his still being friends with the other woman. It would have to be her or me but this is just me. I would think if he was really, truly serious about working it out with you then he would cut all contact with her. I agree with April. First things first - take care of you. Keep sharing with us. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))