Any read The Case for Mr Good Enough

Relationships Romantic Relationships
1

I have heard alot about the book "Marry him, the case for mr good enough". and wanted to know if anyone has read it and people's thoughts on it.

Found this article about the book:

"There are many fish in the sea, goes the saying. So, why should a woman settle for any man less than perfect, when the internet can be used to spread the net far and wide?

The trouble is, no man can ever offer perfection (nor any woman, for that matter.)

That's the realization that finally hit Lori Gottlieb.
Now 40 years old and counting, Gottlieb came to the conclusion that Mr. Right doesn't seem to be out there after all, and so it is time to lower the bar.

And she shares her conclusions in her honest book, "Marry Him : The Case For Settling for Mr. Good Enough."

When she realized that Mr. Right didn't seem to be on the horizon, Gottlieb started looking at her dating habits, and those of the women around her.

Gottlieb's conclusion : women want it all, and want it now.

And they are not prepared to compromise on their list of all the traits needed by their ideal mate.

Gottlieb's own Mr. Right list had 51 targets that her ideal mate had to meet. (Good grief!)

It's not so much that women aren't prepared to settle. It's more a case of women refusing to recognize that their vision of the perfect match doesn't come close to reality."

You can see the whole story here: http://www.tillsonburgnews.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=2728552

2

Funny enough Victoria, I actually have read this book and it really changed my thinking and opened up my eyes. I love that the book doesn't encourage us to settle but simply to open up our eyes and minds to someone who may not meet all of our criteria. This person can be right in front of us, but because we have this "list", that precludes us from seeing them as a potential mate. As well, it encourages us to toss out our "list" and simply keep it to 3 key areas, such as religion, children, etc...

It's a great book and a good read. I love the authors play-by-play on how she changed her ways. As well, there are numerous interviews of people's own experiences with dating.

3

Maybe that's the case for most people but I really don't believe I have unreasonable expectations and certainly don't believe I want it all, and want it now. I don't know what the term perfection really means because it's so different for everyone. I don't want some prince charming to sweep me off my feet. I want a partnership, where we both can come together and form a perfect union. I don't have a sense of entitlement to this fantasy many people imagine. I want to live a life of happiness. I'm certain plenty of people out there have at least that to offer. Maybe it's because I'm still relatively young because I don't know that I would be having this attitude if I were hitting an older age and really wanted to have children. I know our clocks are ticking, but love can't be rushed or timed. It just happens naturally and unexpectedly, at least for me. And although my answer is yes to marriage children etc, I just don't know when that will happen for me. But I certainly don't see myself settling for whoever is there at the right place, and at the right time. That's just divorce waiting to happen.

4

That's such a great attitude July! I love it! It's such a healthy way to look at relationships and the prospect of marriage. I have really let go of any and all criteria, I just know when the right one comes along, then it will all click. Though, I do know women and men whose lists go on and on and on and tend to be so specific that I fear for them because they're really closing themselves off to good people. When you have these lists and someone doesn't hit all of the points, then they're out.

Keeping an open mind and open heart is the way to go!

5

thanks puppydog, good to know the info. read the article about the book and it looked intriguing. I am really turned off by dating books alot because there are so many rules, like the book called “the rules” that seems so ridiculous. I wonder why dating can’t be easy and honest, but that’s besides the point.

I do only date people i have a connection wish, i just hope i don’t cut people off to quickly because they don’t have x,y,z. And i also worry about friends not giving people chances over small things. So this booked looked like it could be good. I do think we need to give people chances and forget the list and know that we are perfect either.

6

Victoria, you are so right on. I've definitely been that way and am still working on not allowing it to get in my way. I am trying to override the small things and keep my focus on the big picture. You should write a post regarding your thoughts on "rules" and dating. I love your insight!