My son has autism spectrum, it has really been hard for me to cope.I wake up in hopes that my son would be normal, but that will never happen, I love my son very much but
its very hard for me to deal with. I'm really depressed i just want to know if anyone else is going through the same situation?
tmcoop
not only did i suffer a bout of depression i crossed the road so that others wouldnt look in the pram and see the look of horror on their faces i wont say i wanted normal for my child but i did feel that i had been punished for no reason but that was a long time ago and my biggest fear was i would be inadequate to rise to the challenge of my babys needs
now things have fallen into a pattern and there is a lot of help and info out there in the world today to help u and more providers of childcare schooling are informed and able to cope with the spectrums needs
have u had space where u can just get some u time and do things like u use to do even if its to wash your hair and bathe by candle light it all helps to lift the mood and make the day more bareable in the early days
but be kind to u and dont feel that u are at fault for wanting things differently we all adjust in time and im sure u are going to be fantastic at parenting such a special child
be kinder to yourself
love D
I also feel like I may be going through a similar situation as you. My 2 yr old daughter was recently diagnosed and now I'm having to have the strength to schedule all the appts neccessary for funding to get the ball rolling for therepy's. I too feel depressed and guilty for my depression. It's an ongoing roler coaster.. sometimes I get the strength to feel happy and embrace the fact of early diagnosis and intervention. Who knows what the future holds for our children. I also know nobody going through what I'm feeling and as much as my family and friends can try to give me some sort of support, they just dont understand. I dont know if any of this helps you but I just thought that it might be nice to talk to someone going through a similar situation. I know that its somthing I've been searching for.
My mother in law has been telling me for a very long time ,y son has autism. I DO NOT WANT TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT HE IS!!! I dont want to accept it but I know I need to, to help my son. We have to be in the same boat. I will always b here somewhere in the mix.The e-mails from Rachel Evens are also helpful information. Because what is true?? and what isnt?? is something I struggle with.
arieberry
i guess we all need a safe place where the words and thoughts are not condemned by others who think they know what we need or should be doing
just to know that someone else is trapped by noises lights and a million other things in the course of day to day living makes it so much better in the long run
be kind to yourself
love D
I wonder what did I do wrong??My son was 2 months early. I have health issues but chose to get pregnant. Nowe I am having a hard time dealing with it. Looking for a people support group that meets face to face. As I read I cry!! Feel so helpless. How do I help my son????????
I'm lucky that my son is a higher functioning autism, but it's difficult just the same. He can care for himself, communicate well, learns quickly and can be affectionate at times. But at other times he'd be happy to spend the entire day alone only contacting me if he needs me. He takes ADHD meds to slow him down but even with that he barely sleeps more than me and still has poor impulse control. The stronger meds make him paranoid and flair up the OCD side of things terribly. So we don't use those meds as watching my baby stress about someone breaking in to kill him is just too much. And then there is the sensory issues where he watches tv upside down, loves to spin, chews on everything and I mean everything, hates jeans, but doesn't mind his shoes to be on the wrong feet, hates socks in the winter, but wears them with flip flops in the summer, he has certain foods that he obsesses over eating, begs for eye drops cuz they itch and then has to be held down to get the drops in, and so on. Just resently he had kidney stones and those can be horrible. When he stoped moaning I asked if the pain was gone and he said no but his mouth got tired. He had 5-6 pain episodes and handled it without pain meds since he didn't appear to be in pain at the hospital. He's obsessed about times, schedules, and money, really anything number oriented.
It seems overwhelming and I'm sure your stuff does as well. But despite his problems which he is well aware of he just doesn't care. He knows he's different and doesn't care. He loves who he is. He's passionate about his cat and anything else fluffy/furry, builds from blueprints that confuse me, could probably budget for me if I let him, loves rollerblading, bikeriding, wants to garden, oh I could just go on.
You have to find the really great things and see how the disability makes those great things possible. Despite all the negative you have to find the positive. It's there and it will keep you strong when you get down.
As for sensory therapies I've found that he tends to seek out what he needs. I just have to make sure its available in a safe manner. For instance he loves to chew so we keep straws, gum, popsicles, etc so he doesn't chew his shirts or lick his shoes. So keep going what you need tends to be right in front of your eyes if you'll just be willing to see it.
Stay positive.
My son is only 2 and a half. Doesnt want to talk so u have to understand his way of telling you what he wants or doesnt want. thats discuraging. but he to licks shoes or did. we are trying to stop those things. lol. some days it works others it doesnt. loves to get tickled and his belly blown on by myself or his dad. I love him so much. Just get frustrated sometimes.
Yeah that makes it harder. I teach preschool and I've had numerous kids in my room who intially didn't speak english. So I can appreciate the frustration of not knowing what he wants and the worry that comes from not knowing what he might learn or not learn to do. Like I said before my son is higher functioning so I get frustrated that he doesn't qualify for services because he can communicate. Hopefully your son will learn to communicate in some fashion. As for the sensory stuff I haven't found a way to eliminate the behaviors. Mine understands what he does ins't normal but still does it. The urge is just so strong. I just find better options for him to express that desire. Since yours is younger if he still has the fascination for shoes I'd give him a thing of them to explore. Different materials and textures, maybe a few sizes larger so he can put them on if he's working on that skill. Just a nice collection to be played with and not worn outside so you don't have to worry about them being dirty if they do find there way to his mouth. Hopefully you have some good resale stores around so you can purchase them cheaply.
Thank you for ur words. Hopefully it will all B ok. lol. My hubby didnt talk til he was 4 so hopefully my son will be high functioning person also. Am just concerned, confused and looking for a person to person support group. Any Suggestions would b helpful. THANK YOU Everyone for your helpful suggestions. Much Apprecion to you all!
lisa
depending where u live i would check out the local shops and community centers
over the years i have found the corner shops always know where to find things if they cant supply it
failing that find the local specialized school in your area and contact them they along with the great social services will know if and when groups meet in your area
but local places of leisure like the pool often run classes now for special people to do classes as we are all aware obesity is the new disabillity that we have to put up with according to those in charge so go see
we belong to a group that meets on a casual daily bases and does great art hmm well art and music hmm sound etc but we go swimming in a group with those that can swim not us of course and play badmingtomn well collecting the ball of the floor lots or shoving it under the net with the racket but they have lists of things for little ones to join and go to
when she was little it was a case of take her home and get on with it so u are lucky cos all the things are out there and im sure as soon as u can get started it will all be fine
must go its time to clean the bathroom this week our friend is toothpaste :)
love D
Thank you for the support options. Duh why didnt I think of that?? LOL at self. I know there could be worse things with my son and somedays are defineatley better than others but am trying to work through it. I have a real female friend whos son also has autism, she helps me through most of it. But shes been busy with her mom and I am least of her worries at the current time. I love my son dearly and thank you for suggesting I get him into something. He does go to an early intervention program. That gives me some me time. But I just dont know what else to do. We are working on potty training. Going to be a long while im told. When I read articles online I sit and cry. Usually when son is with his gma and gpa.
D
**** it quit making me cry!!! Just kidding. Thank you for ur advice, suggestions and ALL the other info. We had a drs appt today. Our son is making good strides. We ARE gettinh there. Going to try to get him into summer therapy. I love him so much... I wouldnt trade for nothing. Laughing gently. Jr is chasing and kicking our two dogs. Any suggestions on that?? The older dog is 13 years old, lab shepard mix, has arthritus and he (the dog) has not been around children much. Our female will Be 9 in a week. She is pit/springer spaniel. Gets upset and they both growl at him. Trying to decide if older one should b put to sleep or what. At an emotional stand point. LOL Yet dont want our son getting bit neither.
lol hon
we have an ancient cat that prefers to be at the other end of the house rather than be anywhere near the child of mine
u could try lifting him away and saying no not sure how much that will help but i have found that constant repeating of an action and sound does work
she use to catch the cats taIL untill the cat turned on her now its a question of they see each other occasionally and she still holds her hand and whines but it happened years ago so at least i know she wont go near any other cat
i guess if the dog cant find a safe haven and u dont want jr bitten than its kinda to have the dog put down after all they are a bit bigger than the moggy so harder to find safe hiding places a friends little boy used to lie down with the dogs and when he finally learnt to be potty trained he cocked his leg like the dog to go
so as usual im neither use nor ornament but life is sure interesting when u have a little one
let me know how the docs went and the things they are going to try and good luck with summer camp my eldest boy did camp anne for disabled adults whilst he was in uni many years ago and loved every minute of it
love D xx
THANK YOU!!!! You are a wonderful person who makes me believe I was given Charles for a GOD bound reason. Its just tough but U know that!! LOL The dr said he was doing Much Better with great improvement since the ;ast time we saw her!! For me that was excellent. Thank You Lord Jesus. If the ABC center cannot do a summer program, dr wants to send him to thearpy (speech,occupational and physical) at our hospital or to Lima at St. Ritas. Dr doesnt want him to loose what he has gained. Had Autistic fit at the drs. She said that thats what it was. trying more everyday with ur help. Wish we could meet in person. :) Love you and our children! again, Thank You Greatly
My daughter was diagnosed with speech delay at 15 months and I immediately started early intervention. My daughter suffered from having fluid in both ears and she had some trouble hearing, her hearing test would show abnormal due to her fluid in her ears. at 18 months she had her tubes but in and her fluid drained that really made a difference and she began to react better to sounds and words that we spoke to her. At the age of two she was getting frequent throat infections for a year straigt so her tonsils and adenoids had to be removed at the age of two (that was horrible) but we had an excellent ENT which was wonderful. At the age of 2 1/2 she was diagnosed with PDD because of her lack of eye contact, and her severe speech delay and social skills. We immediately increased her therapy hours and she made enormous progress and also my husband and I played a tremendous part in her progress it was very very difficult to deal with everything to have a child on the spectrum the key to everything is patience lots of patience. There were many times and still till this day that I just have to cry because the daily tasks can be so overwelming and overbearing you feel like you wanna faint. But what I have learned more than anyting is that no matter what kind of therapy or teaching your child may get you are the #1 teacher in there life.
Hi,
I havent' read all the threads on this discussion but just wanted to comment. I feel probably exactly the same way as most of you. I kind of knew that my three year old son has autism but was not prepared for the actual diagnosis.
I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia in part due to the stress of worrying about my son and wishing he would talk, potty train, etc.
I am glad to vent to people that understand. Some people don't know what to say or do. I don't want them to ask questions because right now I'm not ready to talk to people about it that don't understand. I explained to my co-workers that I am having a hard time emotionally told them why and stated that I am not ready to talk about it right now.
Tonight I had my first real "break down" of sorts. My son was trying to communicate with me and I was feeling very tired and raised my voice and asked him what he wanted. Then I just felt so sad and broke down crying because i know he couldn't tell me. I just cried and said "why" "why" hitting my pillow. I don't know what kind of world he is living in.The sadness is just so unbearable. I feel like I am looking after two children, not one. It's simply exhausting some days. I guess you can all relate.
Thanks for listening.
penney
hi there honey
i am so sorry that u are having health problems along with attempting to contemplate a life of looking after a child with unique needs
to be fair its good to cry and get it all out of your system we are battling the demon toothpaste last week she learnt to squeeze the tube great i hear u say trouble is she is always doing it now and so pleased as we clean toothpaste from everywhere
u are the best person to interpret for your son and so dont beat yourself up about learning how to do it
as for the world your son is living in its a peaceful place where the worries of the day dont interfer and they are safe because your love makes it so
sometimes i look at my child sitting quietly smiling or giggling to herself and wish to share those enchanting thoughts that make her so happy or sometimes i see her frown and wonder if she like me is trying to come up with a new idea to communicate or if the simple things are upsetting her or even if she is unhappy with something in the room at the time
please feel free to share your thoughts and fears with us and know that we are all on this journey of life together
take care love D
We are ALL going through the communication Situation. My son does the same things. Sometimes I wonder which Angel is watching and caring for him. So Sorry you are having probs with ur own health. We are here for you.
We know what it feels like even when no one else does. Luckily I found this website!!! THANK GOD!!! its hard to understand when drs cant. Lots of love and understanding!!! Here always
lisssa
still working on the face book thingy honey need one of my older ones to set me up a page or let me use theirs lol
but come on little sis how has your daY BEEN today and what did the boy do that was great
we have toothpaste stairs hope this is a quick craze
love always D