Hello all, doing my best to make it through a bad day that seemed to come out of nowhere. I had a nightmare last night, that I was yelling at my husband to Shut Up! Shut Up! and I was throwing things around the room. My husband and I never fight and are like two quiet little peas in a pod, so I don't like it when I dream about yelling at him, which I have done before.
In the dream, I was frustrated about us having to help his parents a lot lately, which we actually have been doing as they make a move from house to condo. Also in the dream, I wanted to run away and was covering my face, wanting to block everything out. The dream affected me a great deal and it took me a long time to get going this morning. I picked my arm, neck and back for about an hour and had to talk myself into getting up and showering. Then my inlaws showed up at the door with stuff they wanted me to help them move to the condo, and I couldn't believe it! Never having learned boundaries or how to say no, I agreed. When I got back home I was a mess, and decided I had to go for a walk right away. I'm glad I chose a healthy response to my anxiety, but I'm not sure how much it helped. I'm still having to take deep breaths to calm myself as I sit here, and feel on the verge of tears. I hope one of you can relate? I had been doing so well lately, but now my self-confidence is gone.
AHHHH Honey I'm so sorry, please talk w/hubby & explain that all these extras are effecting you & maybe he will get some friends or assistance to helping his parents moving/downsizing so it wont overload you & please try & tell the inlaws your exhausted & will try & do what can but that you need a break, please try & communicate. How old are they? & Are they in good health & capable?
April
No, they are not in good health or capable, so my husband is helping out a lot. His mother is recovering from surgery and is totally neurotic anyway, and his dad has dementia, mild but progressing rapidly. My husband knows how difficult it is to deal with them, he gets stressed out too. I will tell him tonight what they did and ask that they at least give me some notice. After all, I'm not working right now because of depression and anxiety. I've pulled myself together enough to start looking for a new job, but can't handle this move on top of it all. I try my best to communicate with people, but I learned at an early age to "shut up and do as you're told" from dear old mom. At least I can talk to my husband, we are very close.
Thank-you.
Your working your butt off from the way it sounds & yes boundaries are wonderful even though I still have trouble w/my 18 & 26 yr. old boys, I think its selective hearing UGH!!!! Do they have Ins. that might help aid w/care taking when the move is completed? Or Social Services, I bet Bluid or D knows of an organization site in you area for future reference to utilize.
And that ole saying "Children are to be seen & not heard" is a load of crap & they probably didnt have kids.... :-/
pls if ne1 interested in helping me by filling the questionairres to help our friends mail me @ [email protected] pls pls...i want ur help..ur data ould be kept confidential..i jus want to help the ocd people of our community..pls pls i need help to help others
through the questionairre u can get the idea about how severe is ur ocd.. and if u need help and want to talk to ur families u can refer to the scores of the questionairre..its a standardized psychometric tool dat is used to screen out the severity of OCD people and their problematic areas and then we plan a therapeutic programme for the individual suffering from ocd.