I suffer from doing a lot of "should-in" on myself...I should walk the dog, I should be happy, I shouldn't be worrying so much, I should be grateful, I should show face..or X, X, X won't be happy with me, I should be over this by now. There is a lot of inner conflict going on.
During another wonderful session with my therapist the only homework I was given was to give myself a task of "being kind to myself" that day.
So if you find yourself being hard yourself and over-listening to the shoulds then just for today find a way to be kind to yourself. It could be...
Buying flowers for you or someone else.
Turning your phone off and making time for just you
Going for a drive
Turning every negative thought into a positive one (this can be hard, but everytime you hear oh I'm not worth it, or I'm fat, or...just spin it around to...I am worth it, and I am beautiful...)
Or even if you are feeling really down and depressed just letting go of that guilt and saying this is how I feel right now...because it's ok to feel how you feel.
Hope this helps ye out there...be kind to yourselves
Love to ye
Moongal x
I just read your post and that’s a good statement. I never really thought of that one. Im gonna try that and start looking at myself as someone else. Because i wouldn’t talk to a friend or be so hard on anyone else like i am to myself. Im constantly criticizing myself. I know it’s not healthy and i need to stop.
Moongal,
Such an important foundation, maybe the main one. If we start with being kind to ourselves all we do is non-harm.
Wishing you gentleness and peace today.
In appreciation,
Patsy
Hi Moon!
I am getting better at being good to myself - not always - but I'm trying!
Yesterday I bought myself a desperately needed pair of sneakers and I did so without feeling guilty!
Isn't that sick?
I don't do for me because I feel guilty about it!!!
Just out of curiosity - does anyone else go through that?
Hey Beauty,
In someways ya I would feel guilty about certain purchases, especially about getting my hair done. I have one particular hairdresser I always go to because he really takes care of me, I never have to worry about my hair coming out a mess or anything like that, however he is expensive, so I have to save save save before I can get in there...and there is such guilt with that.
But sometimes I think my hair is stuck to my head all day long, if you're going to spend a bit of money, spend it on something like that.
And you shouldn't feel guilty about buying runners it is really important to have a good pair. I wear mine to the bone too because i find it so hard to get a pair that fit right, I really have to break them in, it's really painful.
You should be allowed to spend to your money on you though hun, and feel good about it. Everything good in moderation is the key :)
Well, I gotta tell you, I wear them alot for work and really needed a pair.
I was excited because they were my favorite color purple, fit perfect and were only 12 dollars!
Moongal, that is absolutely so brilliant and incredibly important. I am so happy that you are doing this and I am going to do this right along with you. I sometimes give myself a very hard time for not being further along in life and most especially my businesses. I also tend to do the "I will be happy when......", rather than embracing each and everyday. I know that life can be tough at times, but it's all about how we ride the wave...I am going to try to do it as positively as possible.
I think life sometimes hardens us to seeing things in their simplest forms. The constrants of thinking within the box, following all the rules and coloring inside the lines on a day to day basis forces us to become mechanical in our daily routine losing site of the joy and wonder around us.
I haven't lost that site - not completely.
I know people in my life think I'm a total nut sometimes because I refuse to live my whole life in the box.
I try to make sure I notice the beauty and special things around me.
My mother always said I was simple and I am definately easily amused....those are the times though when I am happiest.
That's so truly amazing Beautiful Dizzaster! I love that you find beauty and amusement in the simplest things, and I most especially love that you live your life outside of the box. I am very much like that; I quit an incredibly successful career to pursue my passion in a creative field which really laid out a pretty uncertain future. My father thought that I lost my mind; he thought why would I quit a job/career that I dedicated long hours, days, weeks, months, and years to. To him, that was madness. But, I still did it. I get my love of the simple things from my mother, she is able to see beauty in each and everyday life; from seeing a new rose bloom, to a rabbit in her backyard, to having a delicious frozen yogurt. All of these things give her so much happiness and fulfillment. I've learned to enjoy the simplest moments the most; stopping to smell roses as I'm out for a walk, play with a dog at the park, listen to my ipod while cleaning the house. It's all of the simple things in life that make me smile the most.
Exactly keeping it simple and realising the beauty around ourselves is a wonderful way to make us instantly happy.
And also even if it's something like I didn't have a stressful day today...or I didn't take what X said to me to heart.
Don't ignore all those little things because letting go of the stresses in life could be the biggest achievement of all :)
Say stop to the "shoulds" in life. It makes living them much happier.
Hey Heather,
Ya I do understand, when you're used to putting your energies into other people it can be like breaking the habit of a life time to sit back and say...wait I want time out for me, how happy am I to do this for this person, or am I feeding into guilt?
So when you hear a "I should" come into your head...just say hold it...do I really? "shoulds" although they do us no good, causing an overwhelming amount of stress in our lives. And shoulds aren't what we feel inside...but what we equate the level we "should" be at in accordance with other people...and everyone has to move at their own pace.
So do be kind to yourself, say a kind word to yourself, take a time out for yourself and realise that what you are...is really great :)
Sing it loud and proud Moongal! Love it! You are so very right. My good friend was just telling me yesterday that I was an over-stressed mess simply because I kept piling more and more and more on myself and put everyone before me. I listened to girlfriends and all of their problems on Thursday and Friday and that layered on top of my over-stressed self. I almost caused a total breakdown. Luckily I nipped it in the bud in time. Phone is on silent today....it's me time!