Sorry haven't been as active as I generally am have been on a bit of a downer over the past week. Been really getting in and to the core of what is going on is not an easy thing to do.
Recovery is very tough...so for those of you at it think of a swirl drawn on a piece of a paper, just round and round and round and the centre being your recovery...every week you go around it sometimes up, sometimes downs, and although you may feel you are in the same place you are actually gravitating inwards; closer to the centre...to your recovery.
Anyway I've just been trying to sort my head out and been feel really sad and stuff and while i realise that is ok, it takes the wind out of me. It's like now I've uncovered why I eat, eating doesn't cover the emotions anymore, and eating or not eating I am facing them.
I really hope ye are all doing well, and I will be back on properly after a few days.
Love to you
Moongal x
PS My therapist also said maybe to get paints or crayons and draw the feelings, something that can be easier than writting, so maybe some of you might find this a handy thing to do, draw your anger, love, fear, depression, as it comes.
Hi Moongal, I am so sorry to hear that you had a tough week but I truly feel this is all part of the process to recovery, so it's a very good/positive sign. I think that when you're getting to the root of you and what's going on deep down inside; it's a bit of a roller coaster of emotions. Just know that I am here for you and continue to send you tons of positive energy. And to piggyback on Maedi's post, you are a STAR for thinking of us even in this tough time. Please keep sharing with us. We are here for you.
Thanks so much guys,
it just feels physically exhausting, basically I've had a tough week and I'm still having it, I wana come out of it, but it doesn't seem to be ending.
I know this is something I have to do, but it's hard.
You're right... There are ups and downs that swirl us along our path to recovery. Knowing that doesn't necessarily make the low points easier, but perhaps helps us to hold on to hope that brighter days ARE ahead. ♥
It's hard isn't it? Unmasking the eating disorder behaviors for what they really are? Those coping strategies, as misguided and hurtful as they were, were actually doing something... Unmasking them kind of removes their power. Which is GOOD. But... I know that wavering feeling of... 'Okay... I lost that coping strategy... NOW what???' It's limbo... But it's temporary; just keep reminding yourself of that. ♥
Moongal, this isn't an easy process by any means. My friends and I were discussing the process of recovery, change, self realization, etc and we compared it to an exorcism. It's something that's been so deep rooted and you're uncovering all of the layers and getting to the root and then getting that all out of you. It's physically and emotionally exhausting, but you have to focus on the long-term benefits versus the short-term pain. Each and every moment that you are feeling these emotional breakthroughs, that's one step closer that you are being totally passed this. Look at it as closing an old chapter in your life and making your way to a new one. You are getting there, please stay strong and keep sharing. We are here for you.
i like the idea of ripping that thing out by the root :-)
wish i cold tear in there right now but i guess it's more like taking down a brick wall, one stone after the other cause you don't wanna hurt the precious inside!!
Moon, it IS a long process as you know & also gives alot of insight as to WHY others here sometimes cant be receptive to what others are trying to convey to them & takes a while to walk through it, good lesson for all of us to be aware of, be good to you.
Hey Thanks guys,
As I was saying to my therapist, one minute it feels like oh my God, I'm cured, I don't need therapy anymore, the next it's like i've been hit with a sledge hammer.
I am dreaming a lot more, very powerful dreams and very obvious I have to say too...so I obviously am getting to the root of the problem and it is coming out in various dreams.
I hope to feel a lot better soon...and want to know that i am praying for each one of you and really do understand your struggles.
Thank you so much for your prayers Moongal, you are such a blessing. I truly believe that this is all a part of the process and you are getting closer and closer to total recovery. Please stay strong and continue on this beautiful path.