I have been grieving over my daughter after she started boarding school and has had very little communication home. She left nearly two weeks ago and I am crying every day, feeling so angry that I let her go away to school at age 13 and now I am totally out of her life. Has anyone out there been through this? How do you cope? I can't get the school to build in regular times for the kids to call home and my daughter is so happy there she can't really be bothered to contact her mom.
She'll come around, whatever hapens in her life she will come around, she's 13, it's all new for her and all these are stuff she's gonna discover by herself, but she must know that when she needs you she'll always find you.
I started boarding school last year, and I was so taken by this whole new experience that I didn't bother to call my mum at first eventhough I love her more than anything in this world, but by the end of the year I was calling her 3 to 4 times a day.
Your daughter may not turn into the same situation as I did, but she'll always have you, and love you, she can't just get you out of her life. When she comes home talk to her about this new experience, show her how interested and glad you are for her, kids need to know that parents have their back, and no matter what happens you'll always be there.
And again she'll come around, just don't cry that much, it's a normal process in one's life.
Thank you for sharing your situation with me. I still can't help crying for her though. It's very difficult to go from being the person who knew everything about my daughter to knowing almost nothing. It feels like someone cut off a chunk of my heart. Everyone tells me the same thing as you, that she will come around, but living through this day by day is torture.
Of course she knows she'll always have me no matter what and that I love her dearly. I keep my (rare) text messages and e-mails very positive while I let her know that I would love to hear about all the exciting things happening in her life. I tell her that I love her and that I'm proud of her.
I can't tell you how hard it is to manage from one moment to the next, much less day after day with no real contact.
Do you think you would have called home regularly if the school had a "call home" time in the schedule? I have suggested that to my daughter's school, because she keeps telling me that there's no time to call home, but the other kids are calling every couple of days, or every day even, but somehow she can't find the time.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your story.
I know it is hard, and there's nothing wrong with crying, but she is still your daughter, and with time, as she grow up, you'll ever know less, that's the way it goes, and it's up to you to make her comfortable telling you things.
If there was a schedule I wouldn't have called anyway, cuz it is not necesseraly time that I lacked, but I was so absorbed by this new beautiful exciting experience that home seemed boring and I had no interest in it, but then you would feel that you missed your mum and then you call.
You need to remind yourself that when she'll need a real friend you'll be the one she'll come to, and you need to keep it that way.
Kids always will love their parents and need them, no matter what those may think, we may seem like we don't tell you much, and we don't come to you much, but still you're the best friends we have, so don't worry about loosing your daughter, cuz the day she was born she was meant to be yoru best friend forever, and that is something she knows deep inside her.