On April 1, 2010 my step brother was killed in Afghanistan at the age of 19. He was my big brother and I looked up to him. Ever since his death I really have no taken it well. Whenever something about the military or anything that reminds me of him comes on the tv or radio, I just sit there and cry. Although I usually wait and cry when i'm alone, I am not really a public crier.
There is no on I can really talk to in real life about how I am feeling, I don't know anyone else who has lost a sibling in the military, and I don't want to bring it up around the house because according to my sister "I am just the step sister". So I turn to the internet.
Is there anyone out there who knows how I feel?
1 Heart
hi there
i no exactly how u feel. many years ago my hubby went to the faulklands war on his ship, the friend he had from childhood was all so sailing but on another ship.
he didnt come back
its hard to watch the news and still keep a positive attitude of something so huge that allows our young men to go and die.
and in your case u are facing the added dilema of being the step sister forced out by those who should show compassion and dont. the fact u get a flag and a letter and all the rest dont make up for the loss of a companion, the strong guiding hand that u now miss, someone to tease or just bounce ideas off.
but lets reflect a moment did he believe his job was imoportant? did he feel he could make a differece to peoples lives by chosing the military?
did he stand tall and proud in his uniform?
im sure that all your answers will b yes. so although he died young he died for something he believed in, he wanted to make a diffeerence to peoples lives and fight to keep u his sister home safely with freedom of choice to choose how u could live your life.
i no its hard at this point in time but personally the man that died all those years ago still walks in our lives, it was his courage and devotion to what he believed that allowed us to have our lives.
and as u go thru the stages of grief resentment apathy u will in time be proud that u knew such a young and vital man who although young stood by his convictions of what he was doing. he knew the risks but still put others first
and that is the finest thing from his point of view.
loving vibes and positive thoughts
Moopurplemilk,
I am very sorry for your loss. While I don't share the same experience, I did suffer a tragic loss when I was younger.
The two things I can say are...
1) It does get easier in time (doesn't go away, but gets easier)
2) It really helps to remember the good things they did, the love they shared, and the advice and support they had given you.
And they would have wanted you to try and live a full life, so go out there and do it :-)
Drake
Sorry for your loss am sure its very hard for you just now and there no shame in crying even if its behind closed doors on your own .Its good to cry we often find it hard to show our emotions but it part of being the person we are and also part of the greif... I know how you feel when your told your told your just a step sister or brother.... This in time will pass and in life you will learn to find your own way. What important just now is your loss and coming to terms with it .Am sure he was a great guy remember the good time ,s you had together try not to look or listen to the news... Life is not easy in time the loss and hurt you feel just now will get easier. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP BE PROUD OF THE MAN your bother was, of all that he stood for and never forget no one can ever change the way you and he felt about each other ...Take care God bless
My brother is currently overseas, he was hit in a roadside bomb and was the only one to survive. However he is still in the hospital over seas getting tests run on him due to memory loss. I have seen many of my brothers friends come home early, not alive from war and its a horrible thing.
A lot of them were like brothers to me because their bade is only 30 minutes from my house and my brother would bring them all over while they were traing for dinners and just hang out with the family since most men were from otehr states.
It isnt easy, but the best thing to do is to talk about it with a friend or write in your journal to remember your brother, no matter if he was a half brother or not he is still your brother. The more you talk about him and write about him and all the GOOD memories the easier it will be. NO need to focus on the bad memories. My prayers are with you and your family at this time.
Hi moopurplemilk, How are you doing today? I am so very sorry for your loss. I did not lose anyone because of the military. My husband, his 2 brothers and both of our dads all served in the military in different branches of the service. Like Drake, though I don't share the same experience as you, I have experience the loss of loved ones beginning when I was young. I know how much it hurts. It really helps to talk to others. I hope you will come back here and let us know how you are doing. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
I am so sorry for your loss. Telling you that you are "just the step-sister" is cruel and unfair. Family is thicker than blood. I haven't lost anyone in the line of duty, but my uncle past away a year ago and even though we weren't close, I still cry. My little brother is a soldier. I don't know what I'd do without him, he's my best friend. It will help to talk about him and remember the good. We are here for you and we are listening. HUGS
I guess we may share some similarity...I'm in the Army (15 years now), and I am currently in Iraq (4th deployment). I have lost some friends along the way that were killed in Iraq. I share the pain with you of losing a sibling. My 25 year old sister was murdered (she was not military) on 25 June 2010. Her boyfriend killed her (he killed her in front of my 5 year old nephew). It has been 10 months since she been gone...and I miss her sooo much, at times I kept saying to God that I want to trade places with her. It would have been more acceptable for me to die for my country rather than my sister getting murdered. I mean, she has two boys...I have no children or husband. It wasn't fair. So, I'm telling you that I know the pain it carries to have a sibling killed...it's hard....and it seems to never get better...just bearable. All I do is just hang on...and try to enjoy my life to the fullest...that's what my sister would have wanted me to do. I'm most certain your brother would have wanted the same thing for you. Continue to hold on.....