Crisis. All hope is lost. Soon I will have no family left at all. My son may be more precious to me than what is natural. This time it won't be my daily. His fiance will not resolve our conflict. She says nothing saya she has to like me. I Used adequate language. My therapist said if she refuses to then just be cordial. Another dead dream. Problem is he assumed he could still have not purchase the land right next to me for a home already purchased. I didn't wanna go back on my word and watching my grandbabies grow up. But I think since she will never like me, I will always hurt and it won't be psychologically healthy for me. If I say no i will never see them again as the case has been with my daughter for 6 yrs. I'm in real danger either way. Help me
You are not going to let her get the better of you! You are in a more powerful position than you realise! She probably loves the land more than anything and is bluffing so you will hand it over and disappear. Don't make it so easy for her. Get tough. The land is your trump card and you can play it until you die. Don't give your son the land...let them live on it and tell him one day it can be theirs if she stops disrespecting you and treating you poorly. She will always be a difficult person but don't let her tricks and there will be many, and nastiness effect you. You also need a partner of your own to laugh about her with when you watch tv at night. Might husband has a daughter in law like this and he calls her ,melificent' spelling?
Thank you. My therapist said not to discuss land with them for couple weeks as I'm so fragile. She thinks I should go to the crisis center. I thought I would be ok. But my guy is no help with the rest I need or not stressing me. I can't cent about the kids because since I'm upset it affects him which he seed as them having control over HIM. His anger trumps my pain. Everything sucks. Rest of my family dead. Abandoned by daughter and when not if I stand my ground about my land, he will be too. This awful man will be all I have left. And I know he is toxic not I'm pretty sure if I run him off I will be suicidal. So I'm not going to take that risk. I just need caring children. It wouldn't have to be this way. Thank you so much for taking the time to support me. Also my therapist said I did nothing wrong. I had the messages to show her.
He's her husband now. You can step out of your role and accept she is the main female figure in his life - or you two can keep butting heads.
Boundaries. Anyways - if you two have a problem, talk it out like two reasonable adults. Me and my MIL went through HELL because she wouldn't back off. When we talked - it was better
I aired my problems - she aired hers. GG.
You need some friends around to back you. If you can think of anyone from the past who you could trust it might be helpful. A lot of angry people are bullies. And if you have some support like friends around to back you, you will be in a less vulnerable position.
@Dana15 Dana, do you mean like mediators? I want a daughter in law that’s a friend too. But I can’t force her to be reasonable. This has shown me that she still does not truly love my son. I saw they her from the beginning and called her on it. I’m convinced she avoids me because I can read her like a book. She’s fake. Its clear by her fb posts and rants to strangers also. I Used to be her. I know what I see. I’ll be cordial until she takes him completely away from me. A holiday. A birthday dinner for me. Mothers day. Too much to ask. I think not!
Mighty, she refuses any type of conflict resolution. They are not yet married but he does belong to her now. That does not mean I have to put up with her harassment. Nor let them live next to me and continue to be rude and use a baby against me.
You are spot on about her....yes you are a threat because she knows you know. Trust me she's attracted to the land number one. It's still your land. Don't give it to them. By not giving it you're protecting your son too because once she's got what she wants she could eventually leave and take it from him. Not mediators but a trusted friend or friends who would be around you and in your life so you are not standing alone in all of this.
@Dana15 I see my therapist today So I will discuss this 38th her also. To clarify do you mean have a supportive friend attend this conversation. I don’t want it to be like he’s ganged up on like I feel I an. BUT I know me. Alone I will lose courage back down and he will get what he wants. I managed to stay out of the crisis center. When he loses. So will I my family. Then I’ll have to go to the center. Malevocent will not be included as to me this is between him and I. I used to include her in all family discussions but no more. She will distract from the point to rehash things I already apologized and changed the behavior that caused it and so did she just to keep the peace.
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