Its been six days since my last dosage of xanax and it feels like I'm going crazy!!! I only slept 3 hours last night if that... I kept on having this crazy nighmare that seems sooo real! It doesnt feel lie I will ever be myself again... what if this whole odeal scared me so bad that this is how I'm going to be? I dont now whats reality anymore. THe more I thin about my situation the more and more I get confused. I feel so alone. My family tries to comfort me but they dont truely understand what I'm going through. The only thing that makes me feel better is to read about other people's stories about Xanax. It makes me feel that I am not alone. I dont want be be like this anymore. When will this end? or will it ever end?
I feel so lost and hopeless.... :(
I remember when i was 17 I used acid for the first time. It was such a intense experience but is was not scary for the most part. I smoke a lot of pot and loved it. Now I do not do any drugs except for over perspiration and the are the WORST! I never in all my years of smoking pot ever had a bad experience. I'm not saying that it was right, just that it actually made me feel so good. My emotions seemed to actually be happy for a change. Now, I live in utter fear a lot of the time and often think of maybe smoking a joint now and then as needed....Akita
p.s. This is NOT advice for anyone else, I just thought i would share about myself..
Congratulation! Don't stop now, whatever you do. It is hellish, yes, but worth the suffering, which WILL end. Your mind will tell you you will feel this way forever, but that is just what happens to our brains on (or withdrawing from) benzos. For me, the pattern was always like physically feeling like **** for about 9 or 10 days (yes, that many) then all hell breaks loose for about 2-3 days with a near-psychotic break, long, lucid dreams that continue into daily consciousness (anyone around you might try to take you to an emergency psych ward if they weren't informed first of what you were going thru). You can safely substitute phenobarbital during this time if necessary, and also Clonidine—they won't screw up your detox. After this horrifying 2 days, you will be past the worst and each day will get a little better although it may not seem like it. Go to some support groups so you won't feel like a freak when you're around normal folks (like NA). Keep up the good work. You are to be commended!
Yes, SS, you are going through exactly what I went through, except mine started a few days later than yours. It so bizarre (the lucid dreams) and so, so real, as if it really happened. As if my subconscious directed and wrote a surreal movie without me knowing anything about it. But trust me, it will pass and you will feel sane again soon. It is, if nothing else, a great character-builder, like completing a triathlon.
Thanks for the words of ecouragement… I’ve been through a lot of crap when I was younger but this tops the cake. I wouldn’t wish this pain onto my worst enemy. I just hope it doesnt last too long. I sure would like to have my life back.