This article is really a great reminder of making sure that you're in a healthy relationship based on the 10 key points below. Of course, there can be more points, but these are certainly good basics to make sure that you're on track with your relationship. Here's the article;
"Regardless of your interpretation of the phrase, "healthy relationship," there are some basic aspects to consider in determining whether or not the relationship you are in is healthy. All you really need to do is ask yourself some serious questions - and answer them honestly. Consider the following:
1. Respect
Does your partner respect you despite your differences or does he belittle you - even in front of others - making you feel as though you are on some level beneath him? If the latter is true, you are bound to live a miserable life if the behavior doesn't change and you remain with him. Truly, you deserve better even if he is the father of your children.
2. Love
Can you feel the love your partner has for you or is she with you out of convenience? If she really loves you, you'll be much happier than waiting - and hoping - that she will fall in love with you as time passes.
3. Sharing
Does your partner share with you? Does he confide in you about his fears and longings? Does he share joyous aspects of his day with you so that you can laugh or rejoice together? Does he feel comfortable to shed the occasional tear when he feels saddened by a circumstance life has dealt? If so, it goes a long way toward having a wonderful and fulfilling relationship.
4. Forgiving
Does your partner forgive you when you mess up or does she hold it over your head indefinitely? If she can forgive you for anything, don't take it for granted and abuse the trust she places in you. If she holds onto grudges and keeps bringing up past occurrences, it may be time to re-evaluate and determine if you really can endure living in such a relationship. Regardless of what you may have done, there are people who believe in offering second chances - people who will examine the entirety of a situation while trying to determine where things went wrong - people who are willing to take part of the blame upon themselves, depending upon the situation involved.
5. Trust
Does your partner trust you or does he cling to your every word, watching everything you do while trying to read something into a situation which isn't there? Can you trust your partner? If you can't trust each other - because of past events which continue to be repeated or because of imagined situations - it's not a healthy relationship for either of you to be involved in for any period of time. Granted, when healing is taking place, you may have to endure mistrust for a while but, if you are now deserving of the trust you desire to
have placed in you, it's worth your while to hang in there.
6. Giving
Is your partner able to give freely or does she only look forward to receiving? It's a two way street and, when there's a compliment of giving and receiving, the relationship is healthiest. Keep in mind that giving doesn't always refer to gifts with monetary value; it could be something as simple as allowing your partner to select which movie you will watch, which park you will visit or which place will be your vacation destination next year.
7. Commitment
Is your partner committed to you or does she go behind your back seeking the attention of others? Do you question her commitment to you? If a level of commitment can't be achieved, it's healthiest to find someone who can provide you with the commitment you crave. Otherwise, you will never be able to completely give yourself to your partner and you'll always wonder when your partner will leave.
8. Abuse
What comes to mind when you think of 'abuse?' Do you think of yourself? Does the sound of the word make you want to cry or run away? If so, it's truly time to take full stock of your situation and make some changes. It's understandable that you may still love your partner - because he/she seems genuinely sorry for their words and/or actions - and treats you wonderful later. However, the cycle will continue unless something drastic happens to change it. If you are in an abusive relationship - whether or not you have children - it's time to get out! Your life could depend on whether or not you leave!
9. Addictions
Is your relationship fraught with tension because of addiction? Does your partner drink too much or gamble the night away as you struggle to keep your relationship/family together? Does your partner often spend money unnecessarily to the point that you are arguing because of financial strain? It's time to take a break. Perhaps the time away will allow your partner to wake up and realize just how much is at stake if his/her current behavior continues. If it doesn't, you will have gotten a break from routine and will realize how free you feel in comparison to how you used to feel, regardless of whether you still have feelings for your partner.
10. Compatibility
Do you have a few similar interests or are you complete opposites in terms of what you like to do in your spare time? Are your personalities similar or polar opposites? Are your sexual interests in line with that of your spouse or do you feel uncomfortable in the bedroom? You have to be compatible as a couple to survive and the more compatible you are - in all facets of your relationship - the healthier your relationship will be regardless of outside influences which may try to destroy your relationship.
There are bound to be other aspects to consider; however, your answers involving the above situations will guide you in determining - on the most basic of levels - as to whether or not the relationship you are in is, or can be, healthy."
Source: Helium, by Norma Budden