Back from my trip, feeling good and just wanted to share my thoughts. Hope youre all well
xoxo
Andrea
Don’t Look Back!
On my first day in Australia I went shopping with my cousin.
Other than the long exhausting trip flying over, there was also my own personal long and draining journey I had been on over the last 12 months. The one that started in plain darkness, fear and confusion and went along to take me on a long difficult, pretty painful, and yet inevitable path that would eventually lead me to reclaiming control over myself, my feelings and essentially my own life.
So yes I was feeling pretty tired and drained on that first day, and rather unsure as to what I expected to achieve with this trip. I was away from my support circle for the first time since I started recovery, my husband, friends, doctors and other professionals… I left them all behind to make this trip so far away, which I hoped would help me prove to myself that I can stand on my own two feet again while trying to reclaim some of the confidence I had lost somewhere along the road.
At the shop, the lady at the cash register asked us if we wanted to buy some small wrist bands for charity. They were little plastic bands, all in different bright colors and each had a phrase written on it. I put my hand in the jar and pulled one out. On it was the phrase “Don’t look Back”.
That was it! That’s all I needed to do…Don’t look back! I wore it throughout the whole trip; I am still wearing it now. Every time I felt myself drifting I thought of those three words on my wrist band and I kept going. Every time I was faced with something that made me sad or when things could have played out differently, whatever things, for whatever reason, I thought of those three words.
Even on the day I was leaving those words came to help me. Goodbyes are always difficult and with tears in my eyes after an emotional farewell with my grandparents I sat in the car and looked down at my wrist band and I felt grateful I had the opportunity to see them one more time. At the airport I did the same, my cousins and family walked me to the gate, tearful hugs and off I went towards the gate, I stopped for a second and thought about turning back but instead I kept going and after the numbness from the goodbyes began to fade I once again felt happy and grateful for the time I had spent with them all.
And…
I had had an amazing time!
Don’t look Back!
Such a Big message coming in a small pink wrist band with three little words.
I’m back home now, back at work and slowly getting back into my routine and daily life. I know life wont always be perfect and I know things never stay the same; they can change sometimes to the better and sometimes to the worst. Just living is a challenge in itself sometimes and when things get rough all we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward even if we need to drag them at times. We don’t really have a choice, so unless we are prepared to waste away and be miserable for the rest of our lives we just need to accept the flexibility of life and keep working on things whatever they are in order to keep moving forward.