Feeling weak I know the lack of sleep doesnt help. I am losing eveythnig. Watching myself let it slip out of my grasps. I am to numb to fight anymore. I have compermised my life away I bent for every one else and broke myself doing it. The traces of what I once was all have faded and the dust of my soul has blown away. Even my reflection has become a stranger. Silence would be nice then again silence is also lonely. I dont know sorry for this post. Im just so tired of feeling empty.
Don't be sorry for what you posted. We are here to support each other and it is great that you are writing about how you feel. Feelings should not be pushed away. Instead you should look at the feeling and accept that you are feeling that way. Then look at why you are feeling that way and make a small step toward a different feeling.(and yes you can feel more than one thing at the same time so the new feeling may not replace the other feeling, but it can reduce it's hold on you)
dissociation is a bad thing but something many people accept as part of their life. I did, and often do. Sometimes I'll zone out to avoid emotions. My advice, stop thinking, start feeling. Baby steps. Emotions my friend. Thinking of something is not a substitute for feeling. Thinking of something that makes you happy isn't feeling happy. Doing something that makes you happy is something that you can cherish, and think back to so you can cherish those feelings again. Many people think of negative things as emotions, because we'd never think of them. Also, people think of positive things as thoughts. Positive feelings are emotions. Thinking of hawaii is not a thing that makes you happy. It is an escape from reality. Going out, in reality, and doing something that makes you feel worthy, and I mean FEEl worthy not just something other people will think you are worthy because is your answer. Feeling sad? Go out and do something that makes you FEEl happy, not what you think makes you or anyone else happy. It's time to find yourself, and that is how. Finding what makes you feel GOOD.
Kooth you should be very proud of yourself for expressing your feelings, thats a step in the right direction & I admire you for that. We're all here friend listening whenever you feel like talking more w/us.
All my strengths.
April