So yesterday, as I wrote in my last post, my mom came to visit me after my 5k race. She took me out to lunch, and we actually had good conversation. She didn't talk to me about my stressing out, and relapse. All went extremely well, and I kept telling myself "why did you fret all week!".
This morning while I was getting ready I was going over our conversation, and I realized she said something inappropriate. I remember saying how awesome the race was and that I love running, and she said it would be good because it will make your thighs smaller and more toned. I blocked it out. I didn't remember until today.
Has that ever happened to anyone during recovery? Instead of taking in the information and having ED flip out, you suppress the memory and forget it. Like put it into a file cabinet called not worth reading?
The comment doesn't bother me. I am storing it away. I refuse to let someones comment bother me at this moment. I am proud of myself for not lingering on it, and just pushing it away. I hope this attitude stays with me :)
Oh yes! I have a family of insensitive women. They feel bad for me that I have gained weight and have absolutely no filter when it comes to giving advice. I have pretty much mastered the art of letting things go in one ear and out the other. Funny thing is that I hear compliments loud and clear though!
I'm sure it was just a slip for your mom, one of those things you say because you think you are supposed to give a response. As long as it truly doesn't bother you and doesn't trigger you to over exercise then you can just forget it ever happened.
brita --i love your new pic!!! you two look so happy!!!
and wow–your family felt bad for you when you became weight restored??? wow??? how messed up is that----like how like you said, insensitive!!! i would think they would be happy you are healthy and not dying…
allee! holy crapola!!! im soooooo sorry an so proud of you for being strong.... yay for you! but i feel so bad you had to hear that! that would just---floor me! im so sorry but you are right put it in a file and store it way away and delete that file!!! delete it! in one ear--out the other!!! why would she say something like that? i remember before you telling me your family was insensitive about weight...ugh how i wish the world was sooo not shallow...
i know how you feel alle! the same thing happened to me ON MY BIRTHDAY! yes on my birthday!! yikes!!! my moms freind sent me a weight loss book! a weight loss book ! now , mom mom has passed away a long while back but i keep in touch with her freind...
and i know i told her i had ED! im pretty darn sure of it!! yet she still gives me a weight loss book on my birthday! UGH! i felt sooooo fat and gross when i saw it and i was like-in shock!! like how could she do that???
i even remember her telling me about this book, and i was polite--POLITE in telling her i didnt agree with it and that i thought the principals in the book were quite wrong. i was polite about it allee--that i didnt like what she was telling me... i didnt let it get to me then but then i got the book and i almost died!! remember when i said i was leaving the site a week or so ago--that was about that day! it shocked me --that book...staring in my face when i felt so fat that day...and horrible...
i threw it out!!!!! i threw it out! allee! yes i did!!! i read some of it--man was it ever strict! geez!!!! it even gave me brand new fear foods--great...now i freak when i see them..ughhhh
but it is just like this----garbage needs to be taken out!!! what ignorance other people have---should not be YOUR problem! let them live in their shallow world--and live in your happy place!!!
Allee...I think this is a very healthy way of protecting yourself, and by storing this away (and hopefully it will die!), it cannot have power over you!
Hang in there dear....HUGS..Jan ♥
I've found it interesting as I've recovered... My mom still says inappropriate things, too... But they don't affect me in the same way... In the past, I would have totally freaked out when she compared my weight with her own... Either feeling FAT, or proud and determined to be smaller! :P When she did it during her last visit, however, I noticed but wasn't sent off in an ED tail-spin. ♥ Recovery brings all kinds of surprises, doesn't it?? :)
I almost envy that part of the conversation you had with your mom. Everyone in my family who is aware of my situation, walks on eggshells and is very careful to the point where the word 'fat' is shunned upon.