Hi,
I’m 40 years old and have experienced a series of traumatic events over the past decade. At 30, I got married and immigrated to a new country, leaving behind my job, and had to adapt to a new language and culture. Unfortunately, my ex-husband turned out to be narcissistic and emotionally abusive, which lasted for five years. When I expressed a desire to have a child, he abruptly decided to leave me.
Unable to work due to his control, I eventually found a job through perseverance and hard work at the age of 35. Despite the success and promotions in my career since then, my personal life has been challenging. Recently, I faced another blow with the illness and subsequent passing of my dear father last November. I’m still grieving deeply for him.
Now at 40, I find myself grappling with what feels like a midlife crisis. I am without a partner or children, and my family is far away in another country. Attempts to find a partner through dating sites have been disheartening, with many not taking the process seriously or ghosting me after the first date. This rejection and loneliness have left me feeling drained and discouraged, especially as I worry about my chances of having children.
I’ve always been family-oriented, and my current situation feels like a stark contrast to the life I imagined. Despite appearing successful to others, deep down, I feel exhausted and unfulfilled.
Additionally, I’ve been taking anti-anxiety medication for the past five years due to the stress of my difficult divorce, and I’m unsure how to safely discontinue it. What would be the best approach to taper off these pills while ensuring my mental well-being?
Thank you for listening.
Hi Azzy, welcome. Let’s start with your last question, as I have had someone in my life taper off anxiety medication to start a new prescription, you need to talk to your doctor and find a taper off schedule that fits the medication you are taking. Also, you need to figure out a plan in case getting off the medication makes your anxiety worse-sometimes people want to get off because they feel good, but that is the medication making them feel good…
It sounds like you have been through the ringer, you are grieving, but want to live again. Maybe dating in the past hasn’t worked because you were still sad and grieving. Maybe try again. As to kids, you don’t need a partner, you can choose to be a single mom and go the sperm bank route or adoption. Don’t fall into the lie that a family has to look a particular way, if you want to be a mom and that is your goal, stop thinking you need to find someone to do that with. You have most of the ingredients so to speak to make a kid, you just need some components that you can easily buy. That simple. Hugs friend.
1 Heart
Thank you CkBlossom for spending time and your nice advice I keep them in mind 
You are so welcome friend, how are you doing today?
1 Heart
Hey,
Thanks for asking. I always try to keep myslef busy with work and walking. Some times negative emotion and thinking come to my mind but I try to ignore them with making myslef busy.not sure if it is the right way to fight with them.
It is good to have tools to help, walking is great, but if you find that your tools aren’t always working, or not working as well as they did, there is no shame in therapy and medication to help feel better. Hugs.
I wanted to check in and see how you were doing today?
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and struggles, friend. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know how difficult and painful it must be for you. l just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort, strength, peace, and heal you whenever you hurt. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? Do you have a support group nearby where you can meet people regularly? Please know that you can always come here for help and support. I know it’s not easy but stay strong. Sending hugs & prayers your way.