Feeling so sad, after my husband having an affair for the last 3 years , I finally left him. we have 2 sons 16 & 14 who idolize him. He doesn't see any problems in his actions. 9 days after I moved out he moved in his girlfriend and her kids. (not enough bedrooms in that house)
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Sounds like your better off without him,although i know that wont help all the feelings you have,must of been very hard too leave wish i had the strengh
I pray you the strength you need Morgan. That is all that ha gotten me this far. He constantly in front of the kids says I can come home and he would kick her out ( but not end the affair) , my kids think I should just stay and turn a blind eye to his continuing affair.
No one deserves that ,are your kids with him?i realy feel for you ,i cant prove my husband is having an affair as i have social anxiety ect and cant go out,i have to rely on him for everything and he uses that against me all time,i feel so stuck and lost and realy does help to know others can be strong
we are taking turns on who's house they stay at. He is a controller, the kids who just don't know better don't think they have a future without him as he owns his own small business. Who allows there child to feel this way????
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Thats horrible for you and the kids it must be so confusing for them ,how long have you been apart?do you have family and friends,what makes people think they can be so awful when you put everything you have into it
I filed back in June, he wouldn't leave although i have all the legal rights to have him extracted from the house I just don't want any more trauma for the kids . So I finally opened up to my parents who own a couple of houses in my area and I moved into one of there houses for the time being. Yes i kept it a secret from my family. I totally don't even know why? He's just a really bad person, i see it more and more every day
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I don't understand men or women who do this kind of thing. My wife brought her lover into our house to continue her affair openly. I moved out via a clinic. The man was married with two small kids. What possesses people to think their actions are ok. I hope your boys are ok. This must be awful for them (and you). I am here to support you if you need to talk. Take care.
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Well youve come this far so you should atleast feel proud of yourself for that,chances are he will do exactly the same to her ,as for hiding it well i personaly think we all do that because we beleve it will change .you were very brave to cope with it all by yourself and then to finally have the strengh to leave is brilliant ,i guess it dosent feel that way at the moment as you cant just shut off feelings,and as for your kids when they become adults they will realise what this man has done to you .and that you did nothing wrong
Thanks Morgan. I hope you the best, I hope he is not cheating. I hope you strength in all the areas you lack it in
@Jss1234
Thanks Jss I totally can't wrap my mind around it, but the being away from him give me more clarity, not having my mind being screwed with sun up to down
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@hollyscoter It was really difficult at first for me. I knew my wife for 18 years, but its the best thing that ever happened to me. She went from the nicest person you could meet to someone who was very controlling and abusive. I realised how abnormal our marriage was too. Sounds like you are in a similar marriage. It does get better. I’m still having therapy, but I’ve learnt to say no to people which was a bad thing to do in our marriage. I was instantly threatened with divorce even over minor things. I’ve made some new friends this year which was not really possible before. My divorce summons has been issued. Just waiting for a court date now.
hey jss - interesting that you're saying that because I've noticed the same thing for me. In between crying jags, the emotional turmoil of that rejected feeling, and what hell it's going to reap on our kids, there's something strange that pops in every once in a while. Relief. Recognizing that somewhere, deep inside, I knew it was broken too. She was no longer gentle and kind, but snappy and hurtful. And I'm sure that I reciprocated. But now that it's heading towards separation and divorce, every once in a while I get to exhale like I just don't give a schmidt, and that feels really cleansing. I know there's a long and painful road ahead of me, but I also know that staying married would have been a long a painful road too.
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Right on on that one MR Gutiraman
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Wow one day the kids will understand at least he isn't begging you to come back and keeping you trapped. How soon he forgot all you had. I know it's hell doing this alone but you are better off. Will be happy soon I'm sure his heart wasn't in it with you since he moved her in so quickly. Let her have him it's like the things you give to goodwill maybe she can find a use for him all he did was clutter your life and make it difficult.
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