Since I’ve been on my mental health journey there have been a lot of ups and downs regarding my mind, relationships, and overall daily impact of my job. I feel like I can proudly say I feel like I’m seeing the first signs of healing. It’s a small step but I’m proud of it.
That’s the whole post!
Well done! Ugh, isn’t it exciting when growth happens. So proud of you!
Im ready to quit my job. I am not getting any where. I feel more lost than found. I have been thinking about resigning but i will keep trying.
keep doing what you can
The last thing i told rhem was, “i can not do it”. I was in so much pain from my spin i had back spasms. I had a hard time getting up and down on my knees. I am doing better now but i think it’s too late. I told them i wanted out but i am double thinking my decision. I don’t see myself a valuable person because i freeze on anxiety. (“Which makes me wish for SH”) I cannot take back what i said either. They will move me on November 16 to store. I don’t know, all i want to do is take notes my way. I was told to take a pen and paper and write it down ?? I felt i am not going to get anywhere and i just gave up. Surprisingly i left that paper behind and it’s lost. It would been beneficial if i just had used my phone to take quick notes. I am feeling really down, i got a text from an area code 480… “how are you doing?” I am delusional today. Sometimes i feel like getting back to NJ just to sh and i will be okay but the reality is there is no such answer. What you give up, has it’s flaws and what you always wanted. You can not hide it from view because it eventually catches up to you.
That’s great to hear! Turning that corner can be difficult. Wishing you continued growth!
So good to hear that, Jay! Wishing you all the best. Hugs & prayers for you.
@JayBlack : Definitely celebrate every small win! Bear in mind that it takes something like 5-10 good things to outweigh one bad thing, so “accentuate the positive” 
Checking in to see how you are doing. Hugs.
thank you I’m doing well. I feel like I’m turning a new chapter.
5-10 that is a lot wow.
Yes, its a shockingly high ratio, but from an evolutionary point of view it all makes sense. It is much “safer” to assume that a rustle in the grass is a lion sneaking up on you and be wrong than it is to assume it is just the wind … and be wrong 
thats wonderful
How are you doing, just wanted to see how the journey was going.
It’s a journey. I’ve been digging deeper into my past and some of these discoveries are hard to accept. Long story short I feel at odds with myself and it is affecting everything around me but I’m still here I guess.
How so? Like how do you feel at odds, how does that play out?
“Hard” to accept is better than “impossible” to accept Keep nibbling away at the issues. You’ll get there eventually.
as I heal feel like my old self in some way is contending with my healed self.
I never thought about it like that. Like our present has to deal with the past and that doesn’t always mesh. Interesting thoughts you have presented.
Yeah, it’s just part of my current reality. it can be taxing to work through