hey everyone
how are you all?
well today i started following my meal plan as usual (i write my own as part of therapy), knowing today im eating less than normal. and as i ate dinner tonight i decided id have dessert, and hav that instead of evening snak. calorie difference was much more than id planned. but im allowed to change plans occasionally.
i was fine with it, until now.
im lactose intolerant and for some gay reason i had ice cream and choc chips... stomachs yelling at me (almost literally! lol) for it. but i'm starting to get shaky from guilt. scared of gaining...
the last few days have been very unusual for me, i think within the last 4 years since iv had an ed my weight has either gone up or down every 3 days or so, its been 4 days and my weight hasn't budged. im trying to think that its better than gaining, but im getting a little edgy and wanting to make it move, preferably down.
tonight when i write my tomorrows plan im so tempted to restrict... iv gotten good at following the plan even if i dont feel like it now, and binging hasnt happened in 2 weeks... so tempted... and knowing i have to double my usual portions sometime soon is freaking me out!
i know its ed talking, but i dunno... :(
Hi...are you getting any help with structuring your meal plan? It's pretty unusual for someone with an ED to simply plan their own meal plan, based on the ED thoughts that are still in place. Just wondering...
A tight structure is often very helpful, especially at first, in order to help you feel 'safe' with the food and the amount you are eating. Please hang in there, and don't give in to the old voice of the ED....YOU CAN DO THIS!!
Take care...Jan ♥
hey
yeah my psychologist keep a close eye on it. because its not enough a dietitian will be looking at it next week i think. pretty nervous.
the therapy is taken is steps, first was like just recording wat i eat with no changes, then panning wat i feel safe eating, so on and so forth, in a couple steps time its adding variety and making sure what i eat is enough. we already know its not enough because of the cal content and rapid weightloss.
im just terrified of gaining wen i eventually do eat too much. i think im thinking lose as much as i can now so wen i gain ill still be a weight im comfortable with.
Be strong, you can do this. You are beautiful and deserve life. You will not gain weight, your body needs the nutrients to help you to get better. I know it is the scariest thought in the world that you will gain weight, we all know how you are feeling. Keep telling yourself why you want to recover. YOU CAN DO IT!!
i gained! i gainedd!!! 
300 grams. i shuoldnt have eaten that dessert. over this… i cant handle it…
300 grams. i shuoldnt have eaten that dessert. over this… i cant handle it…