Trying to understand a friend or is she. A year ago I was friends with a woman from the local centre but just before christmas a year ago we went home not to hear from her for a long time she was due to go traveling .I felt I might have done something to her she was avoiding me, I bumped into her on the street when she retuned she said she would return to the group but only once or twice. I know she had family issues and her mam died which she never told me But a few days ago she retuned to the centre liked nothing happened and even gave me a gift from her latest travel. I am not to sure is she a real friend or not
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That sounds very confusing and hard to understand?Maybe she is going through something with her Mom passing and who knows what?It is so hard to say what someone elses inner life is like but it sounds like she acts friendly towards you .Perhaps she is just not interested or having the energy to develop a closer friendship,maybe her actions don’t have anything to do with anything you have said or done.You could just take it day by day and continue to be friendly,give her space for whatever is going on in her life and if she wants to she will connect with you more but if she doesn’t I would not feel bad or as if you have done something wrong,sometimes people just need space.
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It very hard to understand . I think you could be right . I find it confusing .
2 Hearts
By default, is that person naturally introverted? I can kind of relate to that type of behavior.
If that friend is an introvert, especially someone who naturally acts like a hermit, the struggle is real. There is always a desire to connect with other people, which requires a lot of energy, commitment, a lot of changes to be made, which is exhausting to become someone who you are not. However, if the person is a realist, like me, there are always the conflicting thoughts that the other person doesn’t understand the situation, and that the introvert is unsuccessful at connecting and will most likely be alone, and will have to learn to survive alone, and be independent, which causes isolation and withdrawal. Friendliness and social interaction occurs in phases, and those phases oscillate back and forth. It’s the war within.
Of course, if that person isn’t an introvert, then, that person might be dealing with something else, or multiple issues. I vented privately to a superior one time about my issues, and he told me, “You’re walking around carrying a gigantic boulder on your shoulders and trying to deal with it alone. You need to get this stuff out, so you can let other people help you.” I still don’t listen because of trust issues and compartmentalizing cause and effect in predicting other people’s behavior, but the analogy did help me figure out that what I was dealing with were some serious problems.