I am writing this to help myself vent a little bit. I am tired of feeling like there is a double standard in my life, I messed up things in my life and marriage. I am working hard to change myself for the better. I want to do better and i want to be better. I have joined a support group and meet with them twice a week in person, I am seeing a therapist for myself, I am attending marriage counseling as well.
It seems that while i made mistakes and i am trying to get better, wife can still call things out and blame me for her feelings, I can try and overcome her feelings and her feelings. I am not responsible for her feelings and i can change how she feels, I am be supportive, acknowledge them and talk about it with her, I can try and make more changes in my life that i might be ready to make or make changes that i might not be ready to make in my life to assist her in her battle withs her feelings.
I dont expect her feelings to change but know it takes time as it does for myself to work on my life and feelings. Thera are times just dealing with our feelings and how much of a mess they are, i get so discouraged in our relationship. I need to have the chance to express myself and be able like i can voice my thoughts without being judged or having them held against me.
Ok thanks for reading my venting. I just needed to get some of that out. I will also be talking with her tonight about it.