Got accepted in to inpatient treatment going on august 4

My doctor let me out on a day pass to get thing figured out slike how im going to get there it about 4 hours from my hpuse to treatmen luckly i found a ride i lady from my church said she would gladly bring me now the next peice is paying my rent but i left my childeren aid worker a measge i hope she can help me woth that peace i need to talk to my landlord nextbut its a sundau sohe wont be in o I no I have a while to figure thing out but my doctor know I have anxiaty so he let me out but I have to wear a heart moniter and pormissed not to excersise they gave me a picline and are giving me tpn i have to be back at the hospital by 4 oclock for my next feed i got a good speech form my doctor about how he is isputing himself pn tje line for me so ineed to stay true to my word I'm so scared that I have gained wieght I m really fighting not to getting on my scale I really want this stupid picline out but it was that or an ig tube so ipick the pick line I m am still unable to eat and keep it down even the smallest among of food makes me feel sick I swear I actual physically feel sick so that mixed with fear of gaining wieght lead to me vomiting so I no I need the pic line so I can get medicallystable for treatment man this is all hapening so quickly how did it get this bad is it really this bad am I that sick that I don't even relise how sick I m or is every one else being over dramatic don't no but I guess I can't take I chance that I'm wrong . Oh by the way just wondering my doctor think there is a good chance that my past history of sexual a use and my anorexia are conected I don't see how I have dealt with the abuse I put my abuser in jail such was not Easy it was an imediate family member I did councelling ithinki have dealt with m scaredthatitall theregoing to focus on intreatmento dont wamtto deal with of it's the past the past is done and over with so I guesseimwonderinghas any oneelse had a smilor experience and do u think it contributed to your ed thank every one your contonued suport it means alot to me with love leah

Leah....thank you for checking in. Can you share where you are going for treatment?
I know it must seem overwhelming to prepare for this, but you are doing a courageous thing, and definitely what is needed!
Sending you hugs and love, Jan ♥

it called homewood i have heard good thing about it i taking it one day at a time

Thinking of you ♥

Leah are you in Canada?Homewood I have heard has an excellent program.You must be covered under OHIP?I was referred to Homewood.Was told it was a 1-2 yr wait unless your can get in faster.I went to Toronto General for outpatient treatment.
I have also experienced sexual abuse over 20yrs in my relationship (my Ed started before I met him)but being in an abusive relationship contributed strongly to my ED.He was my husband he was sexually,emotionally,and verbally abusive he was very controling took me many yrs to see it.He raped me and he is serving time on weekends.
I can see things more clearly now that we are seperated.Its hard to work through all the pain.
I would agree with your Dr the sexual abuse played a big part with your ED.


It can be hard to see how things in our past continue to play out in our present. But things, I'm finding, are much more connected than I ever could have imagined... I'm glad you're taking this on and taking care of YOU. You're so worth it, Leah... Stay in touch as you're able. Thinking of you!



yes i live in Canada grace i m glad to hear you've heard good thing about homewood i think my medical problems lead to me getting in faster i have only be on the wait list for a little over a month i think its horrible that you have to be medically ill to get into treatment quicker they need to change that maybe if i had gotten on to the wait list when my doctor first discovered my ed then maybe i would not be in the predicament now i m young and i am a walking heart attack my resting heart rate is falling far below normal under 50 beats a min don't really no actually what that means in terms of danger but it does not sound good :{ wil i have to head back to the hospital i will post when i can