This is probably not the place to put all this, but I don't know where else to dump it - so if you don't want to read this don't feel bad if you don't!
First off, high school is long and boring. Especially junior year when everything suddenly starts to count towards something. Then something turns in to whatever you are going to do with the rest of your life. So, I've actually been paying attention this year. It's long and boring and hot and everyone is tired and wants to go home.
Then there's cheerleading, and I feel like I have to be the best. I think cheerleading has a little bit to do with this. I'm a top girl [the one that soars up high in the air(:] so I want to be the smallest. I know cheerleading didn't start my obsession, but I feel like it added some fuel to the fire.
Then, learning how to drive. 'Nuff said?
Lastly - do boys ever grow up???????
That part had like nothing to do with the Support group, so sorry for that bit...
But I did tell my best friend that I think I might have an E.D. And you are were so right! It made me want to hug her (it was over Facebook) it felt so good to bring it out into the open. Whew! Thanks everybody for encouraging me to say something to her!
kye...yes, males do eventually mature, but sometimes it's a real 'waiting game'! It's common that 'we' are ahead of them in that department. Try to be patient!
The cheerleading issues is a critical one. I have heard this over and over...always being the 'top', so feeling like you cannot weigh more than a certain amount.
Perhaps if you think about being 'strong' instead of 'light', it could help. Or for the sake of recovery, you may want to ask to not be the 'top' girl, so you can let go of that 'light' identity?
Please look into getting professional help. Talk to a school counselor or your parents...you deserve to be free!! Take care...Jan ♥
Thanks so much for the advice!
-Kye
Hi Kye,
High school is tough especially when you have en eating disorder. I am glad that you told your friend about having an ED. It feels so good when you finally get the courage to be honest. I truly believe that hiding my ED kept me sick longer. I agree with Jan about talking to a school counsellor or a therapist. A good activity I learned from therapy is to keep post it notes with positive things on them when you will see them the most like a mirror, your purse, on your cellphone etc. This may help to switch your focus from your body weight to how special you are. Keep it up, Nicole
Hey Kye,
High school is hard and stressful but you can make it through! Congrats on telling your friend :)
And truly...boys in high school are mostly a waste of time. I'm not saying there isn't some out there (I found mine there...he was a fifth year, I in grade 12) but a lot are very immature. Try not to focus all your time on impressing them, because they're truly NOT worth your time. Believe me...
As for the cheerleading...try to love your body for all the things it can do during cheerleading, than focusing on being small so you can be on top. Right now your health is more important.
Keep fighting!
Paige xoxo
Thanks you guys! Nicole, I love the post-it note idea, I'm going to try it!
And Paige - you're probably right. No use trying to impress someone who is too wrapped up in themselves!
Thanks a ton,
Kyee(:
No problem Kye :)
And to add to this, I read that you said you were only 5 feet tall...that is probably the main reason you are on the top of the pyramid. When people call you tiny, it's not always about your weight. You are a very short girl and thus it would be easy to throw you ;)
Paige xoxo
OUCH!! ♥
Haha, yeah! It's so much fun. I think everyone should try it at least once!
Kyee
Hi Kye,
Im glad you can use the post it note idea. I hope it helps :) Nicole