Hello.I am in a relationship since august 2020.We get along really well even tough we are long distance at the moment.We know eachother for 3 years now and been friends for that time period before we got togheter and we met irl a few times since we are from the same town but since we are togheter we have not met and we have not been phisycal with eachother.I have moved from my mother's place to live alone at his place since november.The thing is we both have phisical touch as a primary love language.Which is good.I belive in the 5 love languages book.But he has as a strong second language words of affirmation which is almost the last for me and I am really bad at expresing my feelings verbaly.Like really bad...I may think about a lot of sweet kind things...but I just can't say them since it seems fake to me.All of my life I have been punished by my mother for expresing feelings verbally and beliving that they are insescere because of her own issues.She always belived that my child love for her was insencere and she always rejected it agressivly or neglected it...I suppose she just could not accept such a pure love and sincere love from her child...and she deemed it as fake...Whatever.So she projected her issues onto me even tough I loved her like immensly so yeah...today I have a very hard time expressing feelings verbally.And I am the sort of person for which tough love really works.Like for someone to tell me "you could fail,life could turn horendous,but it is what it is,we can cope or at least we can try to and give our best and it is gonna be ok" but for my bf these kind of thoughys and aproach are bringing him down...He likes positive and all is goona be fine and amaizing kind of words...so idk how to express my love to him and support him in a way that he needs and that helps him but also not to feel like I am lieing to him telling him things like oh life is wonderfull and all is gonna be ok which for me feel like lies and this kind of excessive positivity has to power to bring me down...so idk...I am really in a dilema here.
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I feel like if you just explain this to him you guys can work it out where you both feel loved n hopefully understand each other. I think being open and honest with each other is good thing. Hope things work out!
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@FoundloveThank you^^