I just want to introduce myself. It has been a bit over a year and a half since my husband of 10 years asked for a divorce. It has been a long and winding road. All the stages, all the pain... Amicable because I have a kid, my main focus. At this point I sometimes feel the need to talk to people who have been there. I am making good progress on letting go but - long story short - the fact the my ex is dating the woman who replaced me at the business that used to be ours still bugs me and my kid. That is why I joined: to share, to learn. Thank you for reading.
Hello Ana06
I to can relate to the pain,
Strange what others do without any remorce
Keep your head up give the love to your kid
they need to know you are there for them.
I have been separated since 8/31/10
filed for divorce in August after I found out she had a boyfriend she was gone every weekend since April
It has been a long hard road mine was very nasty
blamed me to the kids for every thing.
My biggest fear is knowing my children will be with someone and I will be a second thought to them and not be able to see them grow and learn.
As far as him and her go they will get what they deserve and it may take awhile but I really feel that what gomes around goes around.Then at that point the peace will come to you.Have faith in yourself move forward and do not look back.
Zimmy
Thank you Zimmy for your comment. I am sorry about what you are facing too, and hope you things work out so you have time with your kids, they need you. I lost my mom when I was a kid and I know for a fact that nobody can replace a parent. Despite it all, I have my never used my pain to prevent my ex from being with our kid. We are friendly when it comes to that, I know how important it is for my kid that dad is around. As for me, although a bit bitter about love, I believe that time is my friend and I will rebuild my life with my child. Finding a new career path, don´t want competition with him, need to go a different way. And I might feel lost right now but most the time I do believe in the future and in my strength to start over…
Wishing you peace and all the best,
Ana
That is the best thing for everyone here move on to a new life and don't look back.That is great that you and him are good with kids.This helps them so much.My other has been brutle to me if I ask her to do something she just starts screaming at me in front of them.I have been taking them to a therapist and this has helped so much.It gives them someone to talk to who is there as a neutal partyYes time does heal all wounds and it does get better.
Stay strong good luck.
Zimmy
Thanks Zimmy, hope things get better concerning the kids, they are the top priority, shouldn´t have to suffer even more… Therapy is indeed very helpful, glad you are able to help them. Good luck for you and your children.
Ana
Ana...I feel what you feel and it isn't easy...I've been 3 months strong now...some good days,and of course some bad....I posted my number on her to talk of you ever need someone...call me and we can get through this together...Thx Rob...
Thank you Rob. It´s been longer for me, more than a year and a half now and my divorce is in the final stages. I can see things more clearly, understand some things and although not understading others, try to move on and let go, a bit more everyday. One day I know I will look back and feel nothing. You will too. Thanks again for reaching out.
It is good to hear that you are close to the end of this painfull experiance.Time does help.Yes the children are the most important thing in your lives now more then ever.
I keep trying to forget the past and her but she keeps digging the dagger deeper in my back.All I can say is keep your head up, stay strong better day's are coming for all of us.
I surely hope so Zimmy, waiting for bright days... And yes, they do have a way of hurting you deeper but I feel I cannot allow the past to hurt me anymore. I believe my time to say enough has finally arrived... I have to go about my life and trust that the best is yet to come. Trust, the key word... :)
You are so right the past is the past.
The future is a new life that will be better then before.
It is what you make of it but we all will conquer
( Trust ) That is a strong word in this situation.
All I hope for is that someday Trust will be back in my life.
Zimmy
I understand what you mean when you say trust is a strong word. I trust in God, destiny, and in the pure love I feel and get from my kid and my folks. As for trust in a romantic relationship... I don´t know. I still believe in true love, it happens - for others. I have not been that lucky. Finding someone who will truly love me and be worthy of my heart? I wish but can´t count on it. So I basically meant trusting myself...
I think you are very right when it comes to someone to trust in a relationship.Myself I really do not feel I will ever trust someone fully again after this mess that was dropped in my lap.who know the man upstairs works in many diffrent way's
Take care
Zimmy
Yes, He does. We never know when a new door is gonna open and change things... Trust comes after other feelings take place. You will trust again when you meet someone who is able to earn your trust. But it is a process.
Have faith :)
Thanks I needed that.
Every time I think I have moved farther on She starts with something new to agrevate me.This is the hardest part for me to forget and move on with.I have done and do everything that the court has asked me to do and yet she does what ever she wants and nothing is said.Had long talk with kids therapist saturday and he told me to watch what I say and do with kids.Being she just interagates them when I drop them off he feels that she is noting all this to stop me from seeing the kids..
Have faith
Zimmy
Sorry especially for your kids, they should not suffer more than the inevitable... Unless there is a major issue such as abuse, I do not understand why a parent would want to prevent the other to be with his or her kids. It is the ultimate selfish act, when parenting is all about not being selfish. Maybe the therapist or someone else could act as a facilitator, a mediator? Seems counseling would benefit all of you... Just an idea... Hope things improve soon.
Take care