lost my wife 3 years ago nad still lost. Anyone have any help?
No one can ever say enough words for what your feeling & dealing with, we're here to talk if & when you feel like it though & make some new friends & relationships. Do you have anything you like to do in your spare time, hobbie? Do you have kids that come to visit or grandkids? I'll bet you have some wonderful stories to tell us about her, please dont hesitate to share w/us. All my strengths friend.
April
Thank you April for being there for me. Yes I do have hobbies, I oil paint and play the gutiar but haven’t had the interest since I lost my wife. i
Almost60, I am 58 and probably facing some of the same loss as you. My husband passed suddenly 5 months ago and have been using this post a couple of months now. I have gotten tremendous support and help. I hope you will start sharing your story with us so we can help each other. We are waitng to hear back from you. Virtual Hugs, Raylene
Thanks Funny Face for the hugs, I really needed them. Dennis
Thanks to everyone who replied for the kind words and thoughts. April and Funny Face it helped. I will check the computer more often now. Thanks again.
Hey almost60, whatcha been up to? You'd mentioned oil painting & guitar, I love art & my 26yr. old plays guitar, self taught, its in the gene pool, my family comes from a variety of musical talents. My mother sang in the 40's thru 60's old band era jazz.
Hi April, I am self taught in the guitar and also oil painting, pratice, pratice, pratice is what it takes. I have a 27yr. old daughter and a 25yr. old son. Did i tell you i have polio and live in beautiful Tucson Az. since 1976, born and raised in N.J. I am new at the computer so forgive my mistakes.Dennis
You do just fine honey, Az. huh. I've been looking at property online for awhile in that area. Am from Ca. originally, born & raised, left in '91 & got all the way across the united states through the years & am in Ms. currently was culture shock. Love the desert would like the DRIER HEAT lol..... N.J. my oldest boys dad is born & raised Newark but lives in Ca. as of the 70's but my son has visited N.J. a few times though. My 18 yr. old son just started community college so hes getting ready to leave the NEST :)
I was born in Newark also 1950. Years fly by now 10/4 I will be 60(almost60man). Thanks for the chat as I am home all day alone witj my 8 cats and best friend Sadie my dog. Dennis
Dennis, I responded to your other post just now, but was brousing around and saw this thread and thought I'd chat a bit. I'm glad you have pets, they can be such comfort with all their unconditional love. I have little dog Chachi who is always happy to see me and fills a lot of lonely hours. I have 3 grown sons with wonderful families. I am blessed with 6 grandchildren, but the youngest is 11 and all have busy lives. They are always willing to include me, but sometimes I like my time to post here. It seems to make me feel closer to Doug when I'm talking about him or sharing with someone with similar losses. I went back to work part time week before last at the School I retired from. They needed an assistant in Guidance 3 days a week and it fills my time with friends I love and worked with for years. It gives me a reason to get up and satisfaction knowing I'm accomplishing something. I retired to spend more time with my husband and I was lost after his death. I feel God opened this position for me with just enough days but not too many. I truely believe if we allow God to work in our lives he will open doors after others have been closed. I hope you have a support system, I can tell I have been blessed with a wonderful family and friends and also a great church family. You mentioned you had health issues, so I don't know how mobile you are, but if you are able you might like to seek out a church in your area. They provide great support with many having widow/widower groups and activities. We have to keep moving forward regardless of how little we care. This is one of the big hurddles I feel I'm trying to move past. I know Doug wouldn't have wanted me to stop living and I'm trying real hard to keep on keeping on. I went to the County Fair with my best friend today and really enjoyed it. She and her husband were our best friends for over 30 years. I am going with them to some other friends for dinner this evening. As I said keep on keeping on when I would just as soon cacoon myself here at home. I hope we can chat back and forth and pass some time and help each other with the lonliness. Hugs (we all need Hugs), Raylene
You are right, our sposes would want us to keep enjoying life. I don’t go out of the house since I lost my wife Sandra. She was a ER nurse and had colon cancer that spread to her liver, when we found out she was sick she only had 3 months lleft. We lived each day for the moment and tried to be happy, she passed in my arms in the living room Feb. 3, 2008. I really miss her company and smile. Her favorite saying was calmness and tranquility, boy do I miss hearing that. Thanks for the hug as I really miss that alos. God Bless you each and everyday. Your friend in Tucson, Dennis
Hi almost60man, I am very sorry about the loss of your wife. I still have my husband. I was young when my dad died but I remember how it affected my mom. I remember evenings when she would sit in the rocking chair and cry. I would get in her lap and hug her. She always said she did well during the day but the evening time was the worse. That was when she seem to miss dad the most. That was over 40 years ago that dad died. With time, my mom healed and was able to move on with her life. You will be able to also. It is more than ok to miss them and to cry. Remember the good times. Also in my dealing with the lose of loved ones, I remind myself that they would want me to be happy. So that is what I work on - being happy. September 19th was the 18th anniversary of my sister's death. She was my only sibling. I remembered her during this time recently. I do miss her. My mom and I talked about her and we were ok. With time, we heal and get better. Keep sharing with us. We are here for you. ((((hugs))))
I always felt with the loss of my loved ones that I was lucky enough to have enjoyed what time we had together. Lost my mother '81 brain cancer & my brother in '94 heavy equipment hydraulic mechanic accident.
Hey Kiti, I too lost my only sibling, my brother and the anniversary of his death was 9/21/91, 19 years ago. I do know that time heals the overwhelming pain, but you can never fill the place they held in your life. I am drawing on the knowledge that he as my Doug would want me to not be sad all the time and I'm trying hard. Doug died almost 6 months ago and was my other half. The one person that completed me and it's hard to see if I will ever feel complete again. I am feeling stronger and no longer sit and cry all the time, but he is ever in my thoughts. Everything reminds me of him, but I am beginning to find the courage to live. Sharing here has been such a blessing to me. I would recommend everyone with a problem to try it. Many hugs to all of you and I hope everyone continues to share here. Hugs, Raylene
Dennis, I know how hard it is to face the world without the one you love. Doug was Chief of Police for 15 years in our City, and so many knew him. Those first times I ventured out to get necessities I had to have someone with me, so I could get away if I paniced when someone approached to express their condolances. I was real proud of myself yesterday when I went to the County Fair and didn't panic as people asked how I was doing. Who would think that one question could be so complicated and hard to answer. Most of the time I respond, "I'm doing", short and sweet with a shrug. No one really wants to hear all the painful details. I am thankful for their concern, but how do you answer? I want to share the old adage "nothing ventured nothing gained. Now that it's cooling off if you could just go to a park and walk it would be a start. Who knows you may enjoy it. I am now working some and it is a big help too. I am with people I've known for years and I feel safe there. I hope you continue to share here and if it helps you a fraction of how it's helped me it will be worth it. We will continue to share our experiences with you as you share with us and we can help each other. Hope to talk to you soon. Hugs, Raylene
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