Hi guys. So I have a very loving boyfriend. We have been together for a year and a half. We have often talked about the future. He is 15 years older than me and has two teenage kids. I have an 8 year old son.
We just found out that I’m pregnant and was totally expecting him to be excited (based on past discussions) But long story short, he is freaked out, in denial and just cannot seem to process at all.
I totally understand his side and how he must feel but I feel a bit abandoned emotionally. He is concerned about “upsetting” his other kids and is concerned about his age (50) he can’t even tell me if he wants this baby or not.
Point is, I need him so badly right now but he is so twisted up about this that he makes everything iabout him and how hard it is for him and the implications it has on his life and I’m the one having to man up to support his emotions.
I’m tired and emotional etc and he hardly even asks how I am or if I need anything. I’m disappointed in his behaviour although I totally get his reaction.
Please tel me this is a momentary glitch and soon enough he will get back to “normal”
From what you say about him I think it is just a glitch as you put it. I know I would be in a panic if I were in his shoes. I am 44 and four years ago my wife had a pregnancy scare. I was 40 not 50 and my age was a real concern for me. I was worried that I would not be able to be the father I should be to the baby. I was also being selfish because I kept thinking the kids are finally old enough that my wife and i could have a life and a new baby would wreck that. After a little time I would have been excited but at that time I was freaked. Give him a little time if he is the man you say he is he will be there for you.
@John99 thank you so much! He definitely has made it clear he will not abandon me and tells me that he loves me and that won’t change. I guess I just now feel like he accepts half of me and rejects the other and that’s confusing for me
@CKBlossom it was a complete surprise. I also get how he is feeling which is why I’m giving him time to settle before asking questions, but I just feel that the one thing I knew for certain was that he would protect me and be there for me through anything. He is usually so calm and rational. I think I’m just freaked out because I’ve never known him in this much turmoil over anything.
Thank you for your comment. It’s still early days so I’ll give him a few more weeks to acclimatise xx