I am searching for help that will help me get back on track . I am back to square one with everything been dealing with this disorder for so long . I know I need to get back on my meds but due to cost of insurance ect..
I gave up on everything. I hate these feelings
I have not been in a support group for bipolar disorder for along time , I remember signing up for one once but can't remember anything about it. a few months ago I had an appointment to see a therapist to get back into treatment but low n behold I couldn't get up to make it because I had a migrane headache. excuses excuses someone said to me , yeah thankls for your understanding too , If you only had a clue what it is like to be waiting to die. I don't want to kill myself but at times wish I were dead . I even heard something that was said by someone who's wife had killed herself that he was relieved. I had to think my God is he right are the people around us being worn down by us because they are "Normal" and we are abnormal.
They are normal ? when I felt normal I was self medicating for over 2o years had a job , could pay the bills , had girlfriend after girlfriend that was normal?
Can someone talk to me please I really need someone that understands Please !
mrbipolardad ... you are not alone.
I truly understand how you feel. The best thing for you to do is to pry yourself out of bed and get to therapy and your local support group(s). You really need to do this. Also, you do have the inner strength to do this, as well. You just have to summon it up the next time you have an excuse welling up inside of you. You can do it. It really is there inside of you.
Also, you really do need the meds. They will make life sooooo much better for you. If you are having financial trouble you can contact various organizations and the pharmaceutical companies for help. You can Google this to get the most up to date resources for medical prescription help.
As for the job, self medicating, the girl friends, etc ... many of us went through the same thing and/or are going through it now.
Please keep posting on this site. It really does help you and others when you share like this.
Here's to you having a better day and tomorrow.
thanks , I am extremly mixed up right now.
Everything that possibly can, seems to be attacking me from all sides here at once, My ex just went balistic over the phone at me. That made me feel even worse , trying to keep calm. shaking
I have a question...... my husband of 19yrs. is bipolar/schzoid/borderline & more & refuses to get any further help to manage any of it. IS IT the irritability of these disorders that makes one so difficult to be around? It does wear people out, I've been exhausted by it for years trying to be supportive/learn/internet searching/therapists/meds for him, but would not play MED POLICE, then I had to step out of it all together for my own well being & my family. I admire you Mrbipolardad for seeking help & managing this ongoing battle within. Please keep sharing your stories for others to read & learn from your experiences.
Luvs, your good at this.
Take care, April
OK , how I feel right now is I have worn myself out and
the people around me.
So I think maybe your husband is too overpressured by his problems to cope with anything and just doesn’t want to hear about it , he is ignoring the warning signs.
Like I have done.
I think that is what is happening to me.
I’m here because I need someone to talk to
April .... you have to do what you have to do for you. A person who doesn't want help is not healthy to be around. They can display any number of personality traits that makes life miserable for others.
Yes, I've learned that, I have hundreds of pages through the years of attempting to learn. You wrote to ejovan on unemployment site about losing your job over this & I was always concerned about the company gaining access to this information even though its supposed to be confidential & they can.......
April, the HR department at any job has some sort of right to know something. It has to do with the insurance forms and such.
In my case I worked for a company that was global. However, I worked in HQ and everyone knew everyone despite how massive the company was.
So, I'm sure over drinks, lunch or just causal conversation it was disclosed to my manager. Well, my manager then told EVERYONE.
The day I went back to work after being out on leave for a hospital stay, I found out that everyone knew.
Then, right after that morning manager's meeting I was pulled to the side and told that I should be FIRED right then and there.
I am sure it is just as bad at company that doesn't have an HR department. Someone there has to handle the insurance forms.
mrbipolardad .... remember you are not alone.
Please feel free to post and vent whatever you need too. It does help to know that there are others like you and who want to help support you through this.
Can I suggest that you find something that you like to do and just do it? Do something that you really like to do. Some things that others will engage in are things like taking a bath, go for a walk, strenuous exercise, go shopping, etc.
These activities may seem trivial but they do really help to change your mood. The goal is to do something for you. Be good to yourself.
You might have scene commercials in the past where Montel Williams talks about the PPA and how he believes no one should be without the medications they need.
www.pparx.org or call 1-888-4PPA-NOW
www.pparx.org wrote this down, thanks
Thanks Mrbipolardad, I knew that & its why he lives on one side of the house & I on the other.
Luvs it IS a large Co. so I always had that in the back of my mind & took other precautions to make sure things could stay afloat for 3 or 4 months.
WOW
April
Here I am writing again , I set out writing to spark a conversation . I have gotten some great feedback here both in private and in these posts thanks.
Today I made phone calls big steps, I have a doctors appointment for tomorrow to get my new prescriptions,
have forms coming for prescription help from pparx.org
And I also have a form for a discount RX program so I can get my pills cheaper tomorrow.
I took a long walk today for well over an hour and I feel somewhat better now,
I wrote some emails and talked to some family and friends.This was all helpful I don't feel like I wasted the day as I have almost the whole summer.
I see very clearly how my bipolar disorder and my other issues like anxiety, stress ect... effect other people. I'm glad I have understanding friends to talk with and I'm glad I found this support group. It has helped me already in the few days since I googled I'm Bipolar and I need help. thanks for sharing
@ 1pm, I will be at my doctors appt. I am nervous.
need my pills
My appointment went good.
Now waiting for my scripts to be filled.
I feel pretty good now,
just knowing I took the first giant step.
Hope you are doing equally well !!!!!
I got my meds after some confusion, I figured it to be
a lesson in patience . So I am on paxil instead of zoloft and seems to be working good, also xanax for anxiety
feel so calm at last.
My daughter is with me so I am really feeling whole
right now. Thanks for listening when I needed someone !
Keep telling it like it is friend or how the hell else are others suppose to know/learn whats going on inside others.
I always get a kick outta the end of your posts......
Take care,
April
Thanks , I am taking care , I finally feel like I can function, Wheels on the tracks.
It takes guts to take the first step ,
brains to follow through and support to keep rolling.
You my friend HAVE alot of guts in teaching others here & that IS a BIG MAN to hang in for the long haul.
Thanks, April
you are really doing a good job of lifting my spirits
here too as well as others , so give yourself a hug from me. lol now how are you doing? don’t forget about yourself.
I’M gwtting sleepy here so if I donyt answer back I crashed out bye april