Holy sh*t, today is the last day of being 18 years old, but

Holy sh*t, today is the last day of being 18 years old, but I didn't have a great teenage life due to having experience with psychological bullying and even developing OCD at age 15. My life isn't the greatest, but I can see that I'm feeling okay and just need to prepare to begin living as a college student. I don't know about my finals' results, but I'm positively certain that I've passed. I don't know how I will live my life as a 19 year old woman. To be honest, I don't like living my own life and I just wish I had a better one, like I wouldn't be mentally ill and so depressed this entire time. It's hard to live as a 19 year old with OCD and emotional trauma. I know I keep being negative all the time, but I can't change things and that it's difficult to recover from emotional abuse. I'm constantly blaming my parents for raising me in this world. I've thought of dying at 16 because OCD was so bad that I couldn't live like this and I don't deserve to have a happy life with a husband and kids. OCD has impacted on me so much. I can't start a family because of I've fallen into huge s*it. That's how my life runs.

I know how hard it is to heal from abuse in general. You deserve great things!!! I want you to believe that someday.
Also, I understand how hard it is living with mental illnesses (I've been living with them almost half my life). I get why you want a better life than your own. I feel that way sometimes too.
You're not alone.

1 Heart

@Sami77 We’re on the same page.