How difficult SHOULD it be to find someone who desires you back???
Firstly, I'm not looking for advice. I've been through DECADES of asking sincerely "What am I doing wrong?" and getting the super-typical platitudes from everyone and their sister. I also spent time talking to a therapist about that same thing. You name something to try, and I'd lay odds I've already been there, done that and it didn't work.
So my question really is how difficult should it be? I'm not a toxic person. I don't lie or cheat. I don't abuse or mistreat people. I do my best to rid my life of those who don't have my best interests at heart, and I really do put value on many things beyond physical attractiveness. When I am in a relationship, I am present and I actively work on maintaining its health and longevity.
I just see so many people are able to rebound so quickly (for me, that's like anything under FIVE YEARS), yet crash and burn so easily because of sometimes really petty and almost secondary issues. Granted, I do understand how smaller issues can possibly work themselves into bigger ones, so it's necessary to address them if you feel they may get that way. But it shouldn't be just a straight up deal-breaker if you don't like her particular shade of lipstick on Wednesdays! Back to my point, as far as meeting women goes, I just have no clue. I can't read social cues. I never gained that ability.
I still have plans to see if I can get diagnosed with a form of autism that affects social issues. Because it's the ONLY (and I mean ONLY) thing that would explain why it's SO INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT for me to simply find someone who likes me back. I've been through everything else: trying, not trying, looking diligently, not looking or caring, self-improvement including health and finances, trying to get instruction from socially savvy people about non-verbal communication, questioning my weight and/or looks, being "weird" and unique, "looking in the wrong places," dating sites (even paid), etc... the list goes on and on and on and on. And nothing has "worked." I've never found a method that helps me. Literally the ONLY two things that have helped are the internet in general (since it's a limitless medium for personal discovery and communication), and being comfortable in my own skin/dropping my self judgment. But those never actually made anything happen. They just made it easier to meet women.
Pretty much, I am ignored or abandoned. And at this stage in my life, I'm hoping I LIVE LONG ENOUGH to find someone and have a few decent years that aren't just 100% major struggle ALL THE TIME.