Hi guys, I’m new here and I don’t know if I “need” to be here but I have had a love/hate relationship with money forever. I’m very organised in life and a good planner but financially I can’t seem to stick to plans… I can only ever save for occasions (e.g. holidays) and never could quite make a budget work for me.
Last year, after my parents bailed me out of credit card debt a second time, I finally “sorted my sh*t out” and with help from various books and whatnot felt like I got my spending in check. I managed to come up with a flexible enough budget and was tracking my spending ALL YEAR (Jan-Dec’23). I felt that I understood my spending better and what I needed money for and what I could talk myself out of buying. I implemented a strategy where I “pay myself” every Friday and don’t spend more than that allowance…
In Jan’24 I decided I did enough tracking and enough understanding to scrap the tracking on just continue with my weekly allowance. I also use Enveloping to set money aside for certain categories so I can spend guilt-free within a set budget for that category. I didn’t use my CC for a few months after my parents paid it off and I was so proud…
But then I stopped tracking in Jan’24 and made one CC purchase which I told myself was a one-off that I could afford (£65 deposit for a new phone, the rest was going monthly on my normal card and I had run the numbers and factored it in and decided I could afford it - this still holds true.) but since then, it’s like I unleashed some demon which has told me it’s okay to use my CC once in a while…which turns into all the damn time for small things.
I have a regular job and am paying my bills etc but I just spend beyond my means, putting “treats” on my CC and worrying about them later. Then randomly checking my statement and realising I’ve amassed another £500-£1k debt on there…
I have just drained my Emergency Savings to pay off my CC to start from scratch and I know my brain will (at least temporarily) accept this kick up the backside, however, HOW DO I STOP with the “treats”? Really can’t be arsed to start tracking again, and maybe I just need to budget in some “treats” but then I worry if I’m gonna go looking for money in that envelope and just spend it on absolutely anything just to feel like I’ve allowed myself something…
Sorry for the ramble which has gone off topic but I think I’ve answered my question, I’m a bit lost as to how to help myself…maybe I should find some money for therapy lolz
PS: This article lists a few symptoms of shopping addiction and I tick some but not all:
[Kinda] Buying things you don’t need even though you can’t afford them
[Y] Engaging in binge shopping
[Y] Experiencing a strong urge to buy
[Y] Feeling disappointment, stress, and guilt after shopping
[N] Hiding purchases for fear others will think what you’ve bought is irrational
[N] Responding to direct mail offers
[Y] Spending all or part of any money you have
[Sometimes]* Using “retail therapy” to deal with stress
I have now removed the card from all my online accounts/auto-fill settings and I will take it out of my wallet and put it away, but I won’t cut it up because you need it for some things like hiring a car when on holiday or that sort of thing.
) but will try and budget for it in future…